By Lewis When you miss your train Apparently he misses it very much... 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Cincinnati Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML I agree, your life sucks 39724 You deserved it 5502 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Russellville Today, I asked my husband for help with a household chore. His response was to fake snore and pretend to be asleep. Later, our toddler pulled the exact same BS when I asked him to pick up his toys. FML I agree, your life sucks 1698 You deserved it 220 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By the_emilymohr - 28/3/2020 23:00 Gourmet dinner Today, after feeding my cats, I walked out of the room. Five minutes later, I heard one of them making a hacking sound. Knowing the outcome, I went to get some paper towels to wipe up the mess. When I went in, my other cat was eating it. Certain things cannot be unseen. FML I agree, your life sucks 1238 You deserved it 206 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By teacher - Australia - Sydney Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML I agree, your life sucks 35502 You deserved it 3165 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend when we started messing around. Things were getting really hot when he gets a call from his best friend whose grandfather had just died. As they were talking and I heard her crying, he unzips his pants and mouths, "She won't know." FML I agree, your life sucks 71674 You deserved it 7480 228 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ShamefulShoop *cringe intensifies* Today, I took my mother grocery shopping. From the opposite end of the snack aisle, she yelled, "They don't have my darkies! Ya know how I like my darkies!” She was talking about dark pretzels. I don’t think the appalled black couple next to me knew that. FML I agree, your life sucks 3449 You deserved it 264 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 20/1/2021 14:01 - Germany Can't handle it Today, I feel hung over. Don’t feel up to anything except slouching on the sofa, nursing my headache. Must have been one hell of a party, lots of booze, right? Actually, all I did was go to bed at 11:30 last night, instead of my usual 8.30. FML I agree, your life sucks 682 You deserved it 106 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By skipper - United States Today, I listened to my room mate having sex from 3 A.M. until 6 A.M. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML I agree, your life sucks 47618 You deserved it 12025 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States - Boise Today, the first thing I noticed about my blind date was the clump of nose hairs sticking out and mingling with his beard. In an effort to not stare, I periodically glanced away. After a while, he asked which guy I was into at the table next to us, because I was spending so much time looking in that direction. FML I agree, your life sucks 12762 You deserved it 1914 29 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By moetplease - Singapore Today, my grandma moved in with us. Along with her 36-year-old boyfriend that none of us knew about. FML I agree, your life sucks 45625 You deserved it 3804 186 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I finally got my paycheck from working at my minimum wage job for the last three months. I was delighted when I saw it was worth $846. On my way to cash it, I destroyed my car's suspension. It's going to cost almost $800 to fix. FML I agree, your life sucks 36498 You deserved it 6642 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sadmom - United States Today, my 7 year old daughter decided to use my laptop without my permission. She accidentally got SpaghettiOs on the screen, then used the hard side of a sponge, filled with soapy water, to scrub both the keyboard and screen of my laptop to clean it off so Mommy wouldn't know. FML I agree, your life sucks 42528 You deserved it 5313 156 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Santa Ana Today, I was sitting at a bus stop reading a book when out of the corner of my eye I spotted a middle-aged lady in a leopard-skin coat stumble up to me. She stopped, belched twice, and unleashed a torrent of red wine colored vomit onto my bag. It was 8:45 am. FML I agree, your life sucks 27566 You deserved it 1612 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I received a late Christmas present from my estranged father. I was really excited, having neither seen nor heard from him in nearly two years. It was a $200 gift card for a store that only exists in Canada. I don't live in Canada. Not even close. FML I agree, your life sucks 31632 You deserved it 3977 423 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, at Six flags, friends and I were going to ride "Superman". People lose their phones on it easily, so I asked a friend who decided not to ride to put mine in her bag. When it ended, I learned she went and asked an employee in navy to hold onto it, but couldn't find him. Employees wear yellow. FML I agree, your life sucks 44360 You deserved it 7049 150 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jon - United States Today, my ex fiancée, who left me six months ago, asked if I'd mind if she used the wedding dress I bought her for our wedding. She's just gotten engaged again. FML I agree, your life sucks 42113 You deserved it 3447 162 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I was at the cafeteria of my school with my boyfriend and he dumped me. I was kinda expecting it. What I wasn't expecting was that he'd start running in front of everyone, screaming "FREEEEEEEEEDOM!" at the top of his lungs and that he'd kiss the first girl he saw. FML I agree, your life sucks 96644 You deserved it 11161 292 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tooth fairy - United States - Tucson Today, my dentist called and told me that the surgery to remove my wisdom teeth - which I desperately need and saved for a year to be able to afford - will actually cost nearly $2000 more than originally stated. The surgery is supposed to be in three days. FML I agree, your life sucks 2452 You deserved it 118 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Crud - United States Today, my girlfriend of six months dumped me over the phone. I'm in the military and recently had to move away to another fort. We'd agreed that we would try to make long distance work. I'd even offered to buy a plane ticket to come see her each weekend. I've been gone less than two weeks. FML I agree, your life sucks 31849 You deserved it 2875 123 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/10/2020 01:01 - New Zealand - Christchurch Facebook political debates Today, I found out that my father uses, "You eat poo for breakfast!" as a comeback during political arguments on Facebook. He’s 60. FML I agree, your life sucks 932 You deserved it 88 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By 2k16 - Canada - Ottawa Today, I came home to find that my dog had figured out how to open the fridge again. He'd helped himself to raw eggs and crab. FML I agree, your life sucks 18741 You deserved it 1664 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By well damn - United States - Columbus Today, I helped my mom put away my baby sister's clothes. She's only a week old and has around 60 outfits. I have 4. FML I agree, your life sucks 19854 You deserved it 1819 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jerry Jerry Jerry - 15/5/2020 17:00 All in the family Today, I found out the truth about my parents’ divorce and why our family is so distant. Turns out my dad had an affair with not one, but two of my mom’s sisters. And that my youngest cousin is also my half-sister. FML I agree, your life sucks 2106 You deserved it 110 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 8/9/2020 09:01 Walked into that one Today, I stopped by McDonald's with my brother. I asked him what he wanted and I repeated his order. The lady said, "We don't have that here." I stupidly answered, "That's weird. We have it where I come from," and she replied, "Where did you come from honey, 1995?" FML I agree, your life sucks 1035 You deserved it 504 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Doublescrewed Today, I showed up for my first shift in my new night job; I now work at an apartment complex in the day and a gas station at night. It turns out that our biggest problem tenant in the former happens to be my boss in the latter. FML I agree, your life sucks 24025 You deserved it 1557 40 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lolwut - United States - Albany Today, I saw my teacher using her phone in the middle of class, so to joke around with her, seeing as we're on pretty good terms, I said: "Using your phone in class? For shame." She looks me in the eyes and says, "Would it be ok if I told you I'm arranging my father's funeral?" FML I agree, your life sucks 48091 You deserved it 18063 122 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By askprussia - United States - Pompano Beach Today, my brother was playing one of those old street fighter games. He suddenly asked me what "K.O." meant. I told him it meant "Knocked Out," but he started getting mad at me because "'knocked' isn't spelled with a 'k'". He's 17. FML I agree, your life sucks 23086 You deserved it 1499 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nerdlette - United States - Newport News Today, I was feeling really down and insecure after a friend joked about how small my boobs are. When my grandma got me to tell her what happened, she reassured me that all the girls in our family were late bloomers. I said "Really?" and she replied, "Oh no dear. Quite the opposite." FML I agree, your life sucks 39029 You deserved it 4000 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML I agree, your life sucks 41521 You deserved it 9699 275 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bitch - United States Today, my car broke down. I had a two mile, up-hill walk ahead of me. About half way up the hill, a car beeped. Thinking they were poking fun at my misfortune, I began to curse and use obscene gestures, only to find out that it was my neighbor asking if I needed a ride. She drove off. FML I agree, your life sucks 7758 You deserved it 55337 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By notliked - United States Today, on facebook, I realized I had over 500 friends. I told my one friend and she changed her status to "How can Dan have over 500 facebook friends? Nobody even likes him" there were 42 likes, and twenty comments that said "agreed." FML I agree, your life sucks 41641 You deserved it 12293 139 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By down trodden - New Zealand - Auckland Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML I agree, your life sucks 44335 You deserved it 3291 122 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bubblebuttfuckfart - Ireland Today, my aunt brought me a birthday present. I quickly figured out that she'd simply returned the jacket I let her borrow two years ago for my brother's graduation party. It reeks of cigarette smoke and alcohol. FML I agree, your life sucks 22445 You deserved it 1754 56 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I was heading home after getting off work at 5 in the morning, when a deer slid out in front of my car. Not jumped. Slid. Thanks, winter. FML I agree, your life sucks 23401 You deserved it 1554 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By maggie74 - United States - Enfield Today, I sent my boyfriend a nude picture, he sent it back to me with a mustache on my face from that iPhone app and told me he likes it much better that way. FML I agree, your life sucks 29682 You deserved it 9560 142 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Naperville Today, my towel was stolen at the swimming pool. I quickly found the culprit, and to avoid a conflict, I just swiped it back when he wasn't looking. I felt pretty good about everything, until I got back home and realized it wasn't actually my towel after all. FML I agree, your life sucks 28103 You deserved it 42585 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States - Philadelphia Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML I agree, your life sucks 41333 You deserved it 5492 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ThisGuy775 - United States Today, my dad asked to borrow some money off me, so I said okay. Later on, he told me he'll be using it to help divorce my mom. I pretty much just helped pay for my parents' divorce. FML I agree, your life sucks 31360 You deserved it 2962 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 8/9/2020 10:01 - United States - Saint Paul High Times Today, I got hit by a car while I was on the phone. I was sat at a bus stop. The driver was high and lost focus lighting another blunt. My family and some friends are mad that I'm pressing charges and making weed look bad in the media. FML I agree, your life sucks 1701 You deserved it 330 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Alex Today my brother, instead of filming me during my very first musical presentation in New York, took 45 pictures of the sexy trumpeter that was two rows behind me. With MY camera. FML I agree, your life sucks 3960 You deserved it 394 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Charlie Given | 23 #7737989 - Saturday 15 December 2018 7:51 Wow he was really training to get there🤣🤣 Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By bubbat101 | 36 #7738116 - Saturday 15 December 2018 15:02 I guess his plans got derailed. Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By Charlie Given | 23 #7737989 - Saturday 15 December 2018 7:51 Wow he was really training to get there🤣🤣 Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By bubbat101 | 36 #7738116 - Saturday 15 December 2018 15:02 I guess his plans got derailed. Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, my best friend confided in me that she's going to have sex with her cousin. Shocked, I tried to convince her not to and how it's a horrible idea.... I agree, your life sucks 440 You deserved it 60 5 Comments
Today, my ex-girlfriend called me say she needed her car repaired. I fixed it as fast as I could so she could get back on her way, only to find out she’s... I agree, your life sucks 465 You deserved it 373 6 Comments