Miscellaneous: What? Why? How? - FML

What? Why? How?

By naas1201 - 03/03/2021 02:01

Today, a girl told me, "You're so cute, like a monkey." I seriously don't know if it's a compliment or if I'm being insulted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 94

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Thanks, I guess…

By leogs23 - 03/06/2021 06:01

Today, I was taking a shower with my girlfriend when she 'complimented' me by saying, "You’re cute, like a rat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 159

By ButImBeautiful - 04/02/2017 02:00 - United Kingdom - Cheltenham

Today, a little girl came up to me and told me I looked like a foot. Thanks a bunch, darling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 397

You deserved it 609

By Anonymous - 12/03/2013 14:05 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 060

You deserved it 3 113

By Goblin Girl - 01/08/2012 05:46 - United States - Katy

Today, a coworker informed me that she thinks I may be descended from a race of goblins, because of my squat stature, ugly face and hairy arms. She was being completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 482

You deserved it 2 271

By Anonymous - 22/09/2010 14:36 - United States

Today, a girl I work with was talking to me in an Eeyore voice. I'm not sure if it's because she's sad and pathetic, or if she thinks I'm sad and pathetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 854

You deserved it 3 908

By LennyComa - 19/03/2017 00:00

Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 581

You deserved it 932

By wishbone - 14/04/2009 20:41 - Canada

Today, a cute boy told me I looked like a celebrity. Flattered, I asked who I resembled. He responded by saying that I looked exactly like Ugly Betty. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 692

You deserved it 5 649

Major red flag

By Anonymous - 12/01/2023 23:00 - United States - Ewa Beach

Today, I asked the guy I’m seeing if he thought I was pretty. He replied that "all women on Earth" don’t compare to "the women in heaven", therefore all “earthly women” look like monkeys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 186

Assface

By bitches. - 15/06/2009 00:39 - United States

Today, I was walking by a bunch of pretty girls. I'm not the most attractive boy, so I walked by nervously. I heard one yell, "Hey cutie!" I turned to look, and they started laughing. She said, "Oh my god, sorry! I assumed you were cute from your butt!" Apparently, my ass is nicer than my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 459

You deserved it 3 446

Boundaries

By Sfg_926 - 26/06/2016 05:02 - United States - Newberg

Today, I told one of my coworkers that she looked really cute today. Later she sent an email to me and cc'd the entire office saying, "It really makes me feel uncomfortable when you say things like that to me. And I shouldn't have to feel that way at work." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 907

You deserved it 3 578

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 3 March 2021 4:20

It depends on how she said it. My wife and girlfriend coincidentally both call me "********" but in an endearing way.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 3 March 2021 20:28

You must be new here.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 3 March 2021 4:20

It depends on how she said it. My wife and girlfriend coincidentally both call me "********" but in an endearing way.

zedkazmee 11

Wednesday 3 March 2021 20:10

Why do you have a wife and a gf, coincidentally?

Ambrily 27

Wednesday 3 March 2021 20:35

He's the local troll. Hilarious most of the times, way too much many others, straight up mean or (willingly) ignorant on occasions. You'll learn to love him - or at least tolerate him.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 3 March 2021 20:28

You must be new here.

cjathebest 5

Wednesday 3 March 2021 20:41

lol is she from new Orleans

Brian G 3

Thursday 4 March 2021 5:26

It's not an insult; but it IS a way for her to tell you that she's not interested in dating you. It's pretty much the same thing as a girl telling you that 'you're cute... like a puppy'. Girls don't date puppies or monkeys.

Keywords

Awkward Love Work Relatable Students Racism Pregnancy Health Relationship advice Cheating Teenagers Friends Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Food Revenge Boredom Animals Cats Management Parenting Kids Sexism Parents Weird Miscellaneous Job interview Social Media Jealousy

The Top

Today, I found out the person that I’ve been casually seeing has decided he wants to live with me. I found this out when I asked him to go home after two weeks sleeping over, and he told me he'd already moved out of his mom’s. I sublet a single bedroom and have barely enough room for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 144

Today, I went to the gym with two of my friends expecting to pay a guest fee but the cute guy working at the front desk let me in for free. On the way out after working out I started to flirt with him and he said, "Don't flatter yourself, I just let you in because I'm lazy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 704

You deserved it 16 738

The Top

Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 015

You deserved it 17 413

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate for the first time in several months. Then we heard our son yelling from the other room needing my help. He needed me to scratch his foot because the cat was on his lap and he couldn't reach it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 561

You deserved it 4 484

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 376

You deserved it 4 325

Today, my roomate thought it would be funny to take pictures of my morning wood and put it up on Facebook for everyone to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 457

You deserved it 3 376

Today, I met the family of the guy I’m seeing, and they are all amazing. I’m scared to tell him I have a schizophrenic mum and a raging alcoholic dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 781

You deserved it 113

Today, my boss wrote me up for taking too many bathroom breaks. I tried calling in sick with a bad case of indigestion, but he told me to just power through it because, "it can't possibly be that bad." I have been in severe, persistent discomfort the whole damn day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 251

You deserved it 122