Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself, "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard, "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud, or that I wasn't alone. FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
Today, I got a new babysitting job. Every time the little girl goes to the bathroom, she screams and cries until I wipe her. She's 7 years old. FML
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML
Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
Today, I saw a woman breastfeeding her child at the local park. That would have been just fine if the child wasn't at least 8 years-old. FML
Today, I was on a plane heading home from vacation with the family, when went to relieve my bladder and stepped on someone's shit. They seemingly decided the floor was a better then the toilet. I walked all the way back to my seat with shit on my sandal, my sister thought I'd shat myself. FML
Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML
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Top comments
alyssabreanne90 16
That's actually pretty adorable!
Flaming_Pandas 15
Well, it sounds like you've gotten yourself into a shifty situat- *downvoted into the depths of hell*
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Comments (43)
Twist3dprincess 2
That's actually super cute .. I would have laughed too but not at you but at how silly little kids can be!
seriouslygrowup 11
That's cute. I actually read you were going to poop in public, I assume you meant public toilet :D
NostalgiaFreak9 43
There are private family restrooms in malls, aren't there?
Baka_Me 23
Who wouldn't laugh?
Isa_fml 20
God I hate children.
silverstream20 20
That is so incredibly cute. You definitely taught her well.
itcomesinthrees 10
Aww that's cute! Everyone knows kids say funny things like that, they probably thought it was adorable and funny. First time my dad took my little brother to change in a locker room at a pool my brother pointed to my dad's crotch and screamed "DINKY!" at the top of his lungs.
MamaZombieCakes 17
Atleast she sees that no harm can come from using the potty. but what can you do right? Kid's say the darndest Things. Hahahahaha
more4me 27
Awww adorable ! Children have no filters.
ashatash 12
ha i hate public restrooms too i can see this happening to me in a few years when i have a little girl lol