Embarrassing, Awkward and Miscellaneous: Unfazed and dazed

Unfazed and dazed

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Lewes

Today, I found out that licking your very chapped lips while totally zoned out and looking in the general direction of a girl, will end up with you becoming the massive college creeper that everyone avoids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 539

You deserved it 3 691

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

Great, just great

By lax22 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, thirty minutes after the end of a great date with a great girl, she texted me, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 154

You deserved it 6 298

Crossed wires

By hudd357mag - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, the girl I have a crush on texted me to go out tonight. When I got to her house, she peered at me quizzically and asked, "What do you want? Did I text you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 746

You deserved it 2 529

Cool moves, dude

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Sweden - Goteborg

Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I approached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 363

You deserved it 37 924

By sickened - 25/08/2009 14:17 - Philippines

Today, my friends and I went out drinking, and luckily enough, the guy I have had a crush on for four years now was there. I tried to get drunk so that I can make a move and blame it on the alcohol. I went in to whisper my confession in his ear... only to puke on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 758

You deserved it 68 042

Killing the mood

By hotmess - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Katy

Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 646

You deserved it 8 752

Yada yada yade

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 037

You deserved it 33 781

Puffy

By blow me - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia - Vermont

Today, I bought some pricey lipstick for a date tonight. An hour after putting it on, my lips are so swollen, I look like a blow-up sex doll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 233

You deserved it 3 494

Who are you?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the crack in the door. I quickly looked away, but about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there and was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 194

You deserved it 3 000

What the…?

By ohbiebjetaime - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - France

Today, a guy asked for my number at a party. As I was entering my number into his phone, my name and a picture of me popped up. I'm afraid I just met my stalker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 338

You deserved it 3 338

I'll leave you to it then…

By scared shitless in ohio - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Dublin

Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 301

You deserved it 5 617

ihartmytdi 23

Monday 29 February 2016 0:41

Who knew that Chapstick could save you from a couple years of ridicule in college?

lchollett 22

Monday 29 February 2016 1:01

Next time, try and save it by saying "Hey girl, guess what else this tongue can do." Trust me, no one will think it's creepy. *crosses fingers behind back*

Comments

Musicstruck17 24

Monday 29 February 2016 12:37

I zone out many times I completely understand. I remember once in high school it looked like I was starring at some guys butt but he just happen to start standing where I was already staring at. I could have easily been seen doing that and I also lick my chapped lips a lot. Totally feel your pain OP.

dhiran_singh 16

Monday 29 February 2016 13:05

Maybe rub your lips instead of sticking your tongue out next time

PuppiesKisses 15

Monday 29 February 2016 13:38

In 8th grade I zoned out starring at a map in class. The teacher arranged us in groups and it happened to be behind the popular girl. Despite me also being a girl and obviously zoned out she made a HUGE deal of it. I wish I had known then what I know now and told her how full of herself she was.

ouijacorn 9

Monday 29 February 2016 21:48

Licking your lips only makes them more chapped; I recommend EOS or Burt's Bees.

TheFount 21

Tuesday 1 March 2016 5:56

Yup... Sounds like girls. Hit the gym, then you can do it all you want and they'll ask you what you're planning on doing instead if what you're doing.

suckceed 17

Tuesday 1 March 2016 7:36

Only way to get out of it is to do it a few more times and then shake your head and come back to yourself, thus turning it into a non creepy zone out you do when "thinking". Obv so at boys as well.