Today, my wife and I watched a documentary film about a kid living with severe asthma. In one scene, the kid has a severe asthma attack, and is rushed to hospital. My wife started laughing hysterically at this and after apologising, says "It's just he sounded exactly like you in bed." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was giving a friend a neck rub when she started to breathe heavily. I figured she was getting into it, so I started kissing her neck. She then turned around and said, "Tell my roommate I'm having an asthma attack." FML
Today, I was giving a friend a neck rub when she started to breathe heavily. I figured she was getting into it, so I started kissing her neck. She then turned around and said, "Tell my roommate I'm having an asthma attack." FML
Today, I had an asthma attack while in bed with my boyfriend. He interrupted my desperate coughing only to tell me to shut up. He then rolled over to go back to sleep. FML
Today, I had a panic attack because my wife yelped at me. What did I say that made her yell? I told her that I had just been diagnosed with a panic disorder that's triggered by people yelling at me. FML
Today, I, a man in his 40s, had to be taken to the hospital because I was laughing so hard at an old Disney movie that my diaphragm went into spasms. I stopped breathing and passed out for a few minutes, and my son had to call an ambulance. FML
Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML
Today, I asked a girl I like out. She ended up having an asthma attack because she was laughing so hard. I guess that's a no. FML
Today, we got back from our second honeymoon and went to pick the kids up from my mom's. Surprisingly, they were both sat quietly watching TV. Half jokingly, I asked my mom what her secret was. Without even a guilty pause she told me, "Benadryl for chesty coughs in their juice. You're welcome." FML
Today, I finally reached the age where me just being alive annoys my wife. She asked me during a movie if I “have to breathe like that because it’s so damn annoying.” FML
Today, I was talking to my parents when all of a sudden my dad started freaking out and asking my mom how I got this really bad allergy on my face. My mom just laughed, and then I had to explain to him that it was just my acne. The worst part is that he was dead serious the whole time. FML
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Top comments
Fawq37 0
im a big fan of people who write first when they weren't even first haha good work #2
bitterpill1 0
wow #2 go to hell we can all see that your NOT 1st... and even if you were no one gives a ****. hahahahhahahaha YDI for climaxing like an asthma attack
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Comments (108)
ZiggyMorrison 0
NOT FIRST! if you wanna shut her up stick your **** in her mouth
Ilovelife07 0
Bwahaha, the OP's name is perfect. Do you really like Lil' Wayne, or is that what you call your wife?
xxguitarfreakxx 0
you know, i think full grown men that make asthma sounding noises are extreeeemely sexy ;) hahaha call me @2. fail
darkblue_13 0
well heavy breathing is pretty hot.... is that the kind of noises you mean?
fretforyerlatte 0
15, i'm guessing it's more like wheezing. hahhaha.
dirtyrubes 0
Next time she mutes the TV, start laughing and explain that it sounds like her in bed. Wait... that's not right.
genius_man16 1
#11 has it right
poolshark 0
Maybe *wheeze* you should *wheeze* try using *wheeze* an inhaler *wheeze* before vigorous activity. There's nothing hotter than adding a few inhaler puffs to foreplay...
melikeulongtime 4
That's something you'll never forget. Don't go trying to prove anything now; you'll def look stupid!
bigbuttsowhat 0
bitch wife