Today, my wife and I watched a documentary film about a kid living with severe asthma. In one scene, the kid has a severe asthma attack, and is rushed to hospital. My wife started laughing hysterically at this and after apologising, says "It's just he sounded exactly like you in bed." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was giving a friend a neck rub when she started to breathe heavily. I figured she was getting into it, so I started kissing her neck. She then turned around and said, "Tell my roommate I'm having an asthma attack." FML
Today, I was giving a friend a neck rub when she started to breathe heavily. I figured she was getting into it, so I started kissing her neck. She then turned around and said, "Tell my roommate I'm having an asthma attack." FML
Today, I had an asthma attack while in bed with my boyfriend. He interrupted my desperate coughing only to tell me to shut up. He then rolled over to go back to sleep. FML
Today, I had a panic attack because my wife yelped at me. What did I say that made her yell? I told her that I had just been diagnosed with a panic disorder that's triggered by people yelling at me. FML
Today, I, a man in his 40s, had to be taken to the hospital because I was laughing so hard at an old Disney movie that my diaphragm went into spasms. I stopped breathing and passed out for a few minutes, and my son had to call an ambulance. FML
Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML
Today, I asked a girl I like out. She ended up having an asthma attack because she was laughing so hard. I guess that's a no. FML
Today, we got back from our second honeymoon and went to pick the kids up from my mom's. Surprisingly, they were both sat quietly watching TV. Half jokingly, I asked my mom what her secret was. Without even a guilty pause she told me, "Benadryl for chesty coughs in their juice. You're welcome." FML
Today, I finally reached the age where me just being alive annoys my wife. She asked me during a movie if I “have to breathe like that because it’s so damn annoying.” FML
Today, I was talking to my parents when all of a sudden my dad started freaking out and asking my mom how I got this really bad allergy on my face. My mom just laughed, and then I had to explain to him that it was just my acne. The worst part is that he was dead serious the whole time. FML
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Top comments
Fawq37 0
im a big fan of people who write first when they weren't even first haha good work #2
bitterpill1 0
wow #2 go to hell we can all see that your NOT 1st... and even if you were no one gives a ****. hahahahhahahaha YDI for climaxing like an asthma attack
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Comments (108)
chadamsmarkwell 0
lolol, this made my night. pretty messed up on your wife's part, but hilarious. FYL.
john2530 0
Can't say your wife doesn't have a sense of humuor! Thanks for the laugh!
Bautista_fml 0
Hahahhhahah
kissesinbetween 0
Haha that's kind of funny, but fyl for having an insensitive wife.
lovell_says_hey 0
that's something I'd say to my sweety [= jokingly, of course. all in fun.
deadp00l_fml 0
haha. FYL
Dogmaw 0
OH DEAR GAWD I laughed so hard, I think I herniated my diaphragm.
iambean 4
#7 call his wife insensitive. I say that bitch has a sense of humor!
technobutterfly 0
#13, He's not talking about Lil' Wayne in his account name...
Islander_fml 5
Funny as hell in so many ways!