Health and School: No health allowed! - FML

No health allowed!

By Eat that whiskey steak or else! - 01/07/2018 20:30 - Spain - M?laga

Today, I came back home from uni for the first time in 9 months. Since I started living on my own, I gave up all alcohol, sodas, and animal products. My family was so eager to see me that even cousins and uncles were there. For the "intervention". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 271

You deserved it 513

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Sunday 1 July 2018 20:40

YDI for bringing shame upon your family by trying to be healthy for a change. Hopefully they send you to rehab for just refusing alcohol.

Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15

Monday 2 July 2018 0:11

this reminds me of the time my mom said i'm allowed to smoke weed then referred me to the drug counselor without me knowing

Comments

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Sunday 1 July 2018 20:40

YDI for bringing shame upon your family by trying to be healthy for a change. Hopefully they send you to rehab for just refusing alcohol.

PenguinPal3017 19

Sunday 1 July 2018 20:58

Do you still play nightcrawlers?

openawhole00 6

Sunday 1 July 2018 23:13

at least your friends didn't start calling you salmon dick

acmariner99 25

Sunday 1 July 2018 23:31

I’m just going to sit here with a beer and a cheeseburger and watch what happens.

Yudith 24

Sunday 1 July 2018 23:52

No wine? In Malaga, Spain, city of one of the most delicious wines in the world? How dare you! Go wash your mouth with iberico ham and malaga right away!

Emma Marshall 19

Wednesday 1 August 2018 0:09

You must be American

Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15

Monday 2 July 2018 0:11

this reminds me of the time my mom said i'm allowed to smoke weed then referred me to the drug counselor without me knowing

Burle 17

Monday 2 July 2018 3:17

If your family thought an intervention was necessary they probably just did it for their own humour, because like most people who start bettering themselves you probably felt the need to tell everyone all about it

Emma Marshall 19

Wednesday 1 August 2018 0:10

And? So what. He can congratulate himself for making positive changes. Not his fault if others feel guilty.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 2 July 2018 4:27

You picked the wrong day to give up Coke!

Davros 12

Tuesday 3 July 2018 1:43

9 months you say? What did they want you to give up, spitting kids out like a Pez dispenser?

nevereyes 31

Monday 23 July 2018 14:11

Giving up sodas is great but y'all need animal products.

Emma Marshall 19

Wednesday 1 August 2018 0:08

How dare you be healthy and compassionate!

Keywords

Love Music Cute Work Gross Coworkers TMI Racism Kids Scary Customers Geek Gamers Technology Miscellaneous Neighbours DIY Relatable Social Media Ironic Sex Awkward Cheating Animals Health Insects Plumbing Money Insurance Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, I had to drive my grandmother to the emergency room. I periodically tried to call my parents but neither of them picked up, even when I called the house. We sat there for 6 hours and still no one took her to a room, and no response. Mom finally called back, only to tell me to get her a pack of cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 63

Today, I was at a frat band party dancing with my girl when I felt some liquid on my arm. Normally, I'll lick spilled drinks off my arms and being slightly intoxicated, I did. Then I realized it was chunky. The girl dancing next to us had puked everywhere and I licked her vomit off my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 020

You deserved it 115 203

The Top

Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had taken her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the Adderall they found in my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 782

You deserved it 130 286

Today, my employer gave me a gift to celebrate the one-year anniversary of my hire date. It would have been a really nice gesture if they weren't laying me off at the end of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 848

You deserved it 143

Today, I was on my computer when the girl that I really like instant-messages me. I went to type back, accidentally pressed control-V, and posted an entire article on how to remove genital warts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 012

You deserved it 46 559

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 571

You deserved it 81 740

Today, I learned that Nyquil has such an amazing effect on me, that it won't even allow me to wake up to go to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 913

You deserved it 2 519

Today, I found out that, after offering to fill out my student aid application for me, my mother sent all of my personal information to a scam site instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 920

You deserved it 4 422