Today, my roommate drew a giant red penis and scrotum on our refrigerator, using what he thought was a dry erase marker. It was a permanent marker. I just renewed my lease. I get to look at a red penis every day for the next year and a half. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got home to the smell of permanent marker and the discovery that my roommate's little sister had drawn flower petals around every polka dot she could reach on my walls. I just put up the wallpaper last weekend. FML
Today, my kids decided to draw on the walls with permanent marker, and now my house looks like a modern art exhibit. FML
Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML
Today, I decided to make a place in my house for my friends to sign called “The Friend Wall." By sign I meant sign, not draw body parts. This afternoon I ate lunch next to a basketball-sized vagina and a monumentally large blue and purple penis. FML
Today, my friend made the effort to draw a penis on every page in my analysis textbook in pen. I have to return this tomorrow. FML
Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML
Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML
Today, I left the living room for 3 minutes to make a coffee. When I went back, my 4-year old had found a permanent marker, God knows where, since I don't own a permanent marker. She'd then drawn on her face, the carpet, wall, sofa, both dogs and as an added bonus the TV screen. FML
Today, I was messing around on my laptop by drawing on the screen with a marker pen. When it came time to clean it off, it wouldn't budge. Now I have a full beard and mustache etched permanently on my computer screen. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by writing a breakup note with permanent marker on my newly painted bedroom wall. FML
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Top comments
enough4 0
"Today I encountered an easily fixable problem that I was too stupid to look up on Google. FML"
aback 5
Draw one on his forehead while he's asleep.
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Comments (174)
erectoralcollage 0
how does your plight compare to that of a darfur war orphan? pussy
Kaiden2554 3
I like this person. he's probably a good artist.
Havin 19
if you use a whiteboard marker to draw over it, will come off easily :)
Purple_pixie 0
Rubbing alcohol gets permanent marker off. Good luck!
SheriPutz 0
Magic eraser! They really must add magic to it bcuz it works on everything
baden18830 5
nail polish temper will remove sharpie
TehBoulder 4
put a magnet over it.
camm7 0
Use dry erase to clean it off it works like magic
serenaluvspie 0
Paint the door red
nateshannon1 4
yes because your the first person this has happened to and nobody has developed a substance to remove it. or wait there is, acetone. itll get ya drunk too