Intimacy: Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he suddenly...

By jcooh0lla - 24/07/2009 21:30 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he suddenly stopped and walked to the kitchen. He decided to bake chocolate chip cookies in the midst of our intimacy. However, he told me we could still continue while the oven preheated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 807

You deserved it 7 463

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By jessica - 02/02/2011 20:59 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 385

You deserved it 7 472

Say yes

By fuckingdonuts - 18/05/2015 02:54 - United States - Edmond

Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 098

You deserved it 5 190

Sick burn

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 502

You deserved it 8 202

Fire hazard

By Anonymous - 26/09/2020 17:11

Today, my boyfriend thought it was OK for both of us to leave the house with the oven on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 254

By PTKFML - 26/07/2009 04:37 - United States

Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 840

You deserved it 7 624

Kinky

By sandwichsex - 08/08/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 211

You deserved it 12 034

By youngsamoo92 - 07/12/2016 04:32 - United States - Houston

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate when she pulled me in close and whispered in my ear, "We're getting Chips Ahoy after this." I came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 643

You deserved it 2 998

By burned - 24/05/2009 13:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 124

You deserved it 64 171

By clashgurl8449 - 17/02/2011 08:08

Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 455

You deserved it 4 273

Hangry sex

By Krissy - 06/04/2012 02:11 - United States

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 205

You deserved it 4 861

Ringmaster1 0

Saturday 25 July 2009 0:52

And who says all men think about is sex.

Kitola 2

Saturday 25 July 2009 0:52

Naked cookie baking? WIN!!

Comments

Nucl3arMoos3 7

Thursday 21 July 2011 6:21

I want a cookie!

Ruby246 0

Friday 22 July 2011 2:11

umm...were cookies any good? :D jk haha

gatorsfan100 1

Tuesday 26 July 2011 17:27

I would've tried to get some other cookies if you know what I mean

ZeroIce 12

Wednesday 24 August 2011 7:04

cookies XD

pippacrawford 4

Monday 29 August 2011 18:49

Sex and chocolate? How is this an FML??

columbiancoffeei 6

Friday 11 November 2011 20:09

OP im sorry but if a guy gets up during sex he must be really bored i wont go any further than this lest i sound like more of an ass lol

sarahpenguiin 0

Sunday 13 November 2011 17:51

Were the cookies good?

iBiteRoses 22

Saturday 18 February 2012 2:34

You're awesome, these people just have nothing better to do than tell people they suck. So yeah. Hey, stoners always have the best cookies ;)

desertpunk75 11

Saturday 17 March 2012 21:48

I that girls liked spontaneous guys.

Ninjasaurus18 9

Wednesday 6 June 2012 18:20

On the groggy side, he can bake.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my daughter forgot my birthday. When I asked her, she said she'd remembered my birthday, but was too busy at work to acknowledge it. However, she did have time to post a message on Facebook, wishing a happy birthday to her cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 134

Today, I got an email from our district manager, telling me I cannot use my vacation days as sick time. I've run out of sick days and I have a severe injury that I've taken medical leave for. When it flares up, it feels like I’m being stabbed. He knows this, but doesn’t acknowledge it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 70

Today, I was ordered to pay most of my income in child support to my ex. We weren't ever married and her kid is not mine! We lived together for two years until we realized we weren't compatible, then she sued me when we split. I'm now paying more than her kid's rich-ass dad. How the fuck is this fair? FML

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 110

Today, my girlfriend has become completely obsessed with YouTube makeup tutorials. She’s already beautiful and used to take 30 minutes tops to get ready. Now every time we leave the house, it’s some 2-hour paint session where she ends up looking like an unrecognizable fucking psychopath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 085

You deserved it 160

Today, in the middle of a localised drought, and an accompanying hosepipe ban, my mother has decided that she still needs to water her lawn. To balance out the water usage, she's placed a complete ban on the use of our shower until the weather lets up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 468

You deserved it 1 757

Today, the cops were called to my apartment because my daughter had a temper tantrum while I was at work. She was naked when they were there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 353

You deserved it 302