Today, while leaving a football game, I saw a half-empty bottle of Mountain Dew on the ground. It was night-time and there weren't many people around, so for a laugh, I picked it up and tossed it behind me as hard as I could. It hit someone. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it would be away from my teammates. I ended up spitting on a 10-year-old kid walking behind me. FML
Today, at a soccer game held by my girlfriend's family, some idiot went to kick the ball, missed by a mile, and hit the ground hard. So I started a slow, sarcastic clap. I got a load of angry looks, followed by verbal abuse when we found out he'd split his head open on the ground. FML
Today, I was trying to find my phone. My friend found it, and instead of handing it to me like a normal person, he threw it at me. I'm terrible at catching stuff. It bounced off my arm and landed in his cup of Sprite. FML
Today, I passed a field where some kids were playing football. The ball rolled over in my direction, so they asked me to kick it over. I tried and failed three times, and ended up throwing it over, where it embarrassingly landed about 2 feet away. They had to come over and get it. FML
Today, I got short-changed for a 12-pack of Mountain Dew. but I let it slide, even though they charged me double. i get home and immediately the box exploded and all the cans went falling down a flight of wooden stairs onto concrete. Fourteen stairs. FML
Today, I drank water from a random, half-full water bottle I found inside a bumper car (AKA dodgems) at the local fairground, thinking it was mine. It wasn't. FML
Today, trying to look cool, I threw my coke bottle in the air, and tried to catch it with one hand. I missed and it fell to the floor. Luckily, it wasn't open, but in my unimaginable stupidity, I opened it less than five seconds later. FML
Today, someone at work left 10 unopened beers after hours. I’m not much of a drinker, but free is free, so I took them home during my lunch break. After work, I left my new phone on top of my car, forgot about it, drove off, and it smashed in the middle of the road. Looks like I’m drinking those beers tonight. FML
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML
Today, at my son's soccer game, I tried to give him a bottle of Gatorade, but the top was damp with condensation and I couldn't get a grip. I wiped it dry and tried again, successfully this time. No big deal, except my wife was watching and screamed, "IT SHOULDN'T TAKE THAT LONG!" Everyone stopped and stared. FML
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Top comments
illmatic2 16
You shouldn't dew that again.
BOOSCAREDU 0
Why? How would you get a laugh from it?
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Comments (133)
stclair 0
WTF did you expect to happen? For it to turn into a bird and fly away?
bms1996 12
that's horrible!!!....so why am I laughing? *guilty face*
saranndipidy 0
today at the local football game, some dumbass decided toss a full can of moutian dew behind him, hitting me in the process. I'm allergic to mountian dew. FML
WeAreAHurricane 14
HAHAHAHAHA......no.
eatpussy 0
Whatd you expect it to do? Just disapear and not hit anyone?
shrimper123 0
I thought you were going to drink it(: hahaha
lisaw375 0
you are an asshole!!!
mdtdnb 7
Lol, It's only good for a laugh because you hit somebody!
angryboot 0
At least you still got your laugh??
vvaall_fml 2
How would that be funny at all if you threw it behind you? How would you get a laugh from that.. And how is this an FML???