Today, while leaving a football game, I saw a half-empty bottle of Mountain Dew on the ground. It was night-time and there weren't many people around, so for a laugh, I picked it up and tossed it behind me as hard as I could. It hit someone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it would be away from my teammates. I ended up spitting on a 10-year-old kid walking behind me. FML
Today, at a soccer game held by my girlfriend's family, some idiot went to kick the ball, missed by a mile, and hit the ground hard. So I started a slow, sarcastic clap. I got a load of angry looks, followed by verbal abuse when we found out he'd split his head open on the ground. FML
Today, I was trying to find my phone. My friend found it, and instead of handing it to me like a normal person, he threw it at me. I'm terrible at catching stuff. It bounced off my arm and landed in his cup of Sprite. FML
Today, I passed a field where some kids were playing football. The ball rolled over in my direction, so they asked me to kick it over. I tried and failed three times, and ended up throwing it over, where it embarrassingly landed about 2 feet away. They had to come over and get it. FML
Today, I got short-changed for a 12-pack of Mountain Dew. but I let it slide, even though they charged me double. i get home and immediately the box exploded and all the cans went falling down a flight of wooden stairs onto concrete. Fourteen stairs. FML
Today, I drank water from a random, half-full water bottle I found inside a bumper car (AKA dodgems) at the local fairground, thinking it was mine. It wasn't. FML
Today, trying to look cool, I threw my coke bottle in the air, and tried to catch it with one hand. I missed and it fell to the floor. Luckily, it wasn't open, but in my unimaginable stupidity, I opened it less than five seconds later. FML
Today, someone at work left 10 unopened beers after hours. I’m not much of a drinker, but free is free, so I took them home during my lunch break. After work, I left my new phone on top of my car, forgot about it, drove off, and it smashed in the middle of the road. Looks like I’m drinking those beers tonight. FML
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML
Today, at my son's soccer game, I tried to give him a bottle of Gatorade, but the top was damp with condensation and I couldn't get a grip. I wiped it dry and tried again, successfully this time. No big deal, except my wife was watching and screamed, "IT SHOULDN'T TAKE THAT LONG!" Everyone stopped and stared. FML
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Top comments
illmatic2 16
You shouldn't dew that again.
BOOSCAREDU 0
Why? How would you get a laugh from it?
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Comments (133)
jadengtfo 0
YDI buddy.
Skittlepickle 13
Throwing a bottle sounds really entertaining:|
samfalk39 0
I thought OP was gonna say he drank it and it was piss or something, but YDI.
Skittlepickle 13
....the bottle was empty.
twofirstnames 12
Actually half empty or half full... However you look at it.
Skittlepickle 13
Didn't notice that... I'm thinking half empty.
twofirstnames 12
It's alright, I'm thinking half full :D
imcutefml 0
I thought he was gunna drink it to xD
SmittyJA24 26
I also thought he was gonna say he drank some & it was piss....
DeviousAngel 13
I also thought he would've taken a drink of it and ended up with some sort of foul taste.
Bently24 6
Don't try to be cool anymore.
fruitmasterpuff 2
I don't think you have much room to talk with that picture.
Bently24 6
Hahahahah....:(
My_Nightmare 19
Idk, I kinda appreciate the picture. A few comments back on this page someone who replied had a profile of some nasty teeth up. This is much more appealing. At least from a females perspective. . .just saying
emwil823 0
Agreed. hahaha Bently, you go on and continue being as coooool as you want. ;)
Bently24 6
Don't try to be cool anymore.
twofirstnames 12
Pretty common sense not to throw things behind you when you don't know what's there.
BriWycherley 9
Lame.
afulks78 11
Haha Ef there lifes
NoobHat 6
Their*
SkardeyKat 3
And *life or *lives
RebekahBrooke 9
Oh my god. That was written terribly.
perdix 31
I bust my balls to attempt to write funny comments, and all that is required for comedy is throwing garbage?!?! Look at me, I'm flinging poo, FTW! It was probably a better throw than your lame team's quarterback threw all night.
My_Nightmare 19
Perdix, you never fail to put a smile on my face with your comments. For that, I salute you!
jakeshade11 8
YDI for having a worse sense of humor than Mike The Situation
Smidget1 0
Ahhhhhhhhh!!! Its funny cuz its true!!!