Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML
Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. While I was at their house I got a tummy ache, then had loud explosive diarrhea. Twice. They definitely heard it all. FML
Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML
Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML
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Top comments
rawrface22 10
You can't control some things..
Iamnotmyself 17
Must have smelled like the ass gas of Satan
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Comments (220)
BloodyMary666 24
Oh my Gosh, I would´ve been SO embarrassed! :O
lollipop77_fml 6
Okay, so it's human to have to use the bathroom - yup ladies too! However, there is no excuse for not trying to find something in the bathroom to disguise the smell even a little - air freshener, hairspray - anything!!! Boyfriend's Dad needs a little help in the decorum department also!!!!
ohyeahbaby 5
I recall my friend visiting my apartment once. He went for a little "toilet tour" and after that, the pipes were so ****ed up that shit was coming out of the bath. He never visited me since.. thank god.
mannykinz 9
You guys are dumb. It's "light a candle." lighting a match wouldn't do shit.
ohyeahbaby 5
I recall my friend visiting my apartment once. He went on a "little toilet tour" and after that the pipes were so ****ed up that shit was coming out of the bath hole. He hasn't visited me since.. thank God.
CanadianMuse 0
I guess you forgot about the matches, or opening the window, or starting the fan, or all? That still sucks, but blame it on the BF next time ;)
TheAnon 2
lol dude
iceleste7 0
LOL sounds like something that'd happen to me >.
chuko1014 0
lmfao damn if i was ur bf i woulda just burst out laughin. shoulda turned on the air fan then sprayed som air fresherner put a plug in bleached the toilet and put one them tilets soap in there lol or jus threw pine sol in the toilet lol
Fapootles 0
Doesn't that just makes you appreciate febreeze?xD