Kids: Today, whenever I do something that the kid I am babysitting... - FML

By Anonymous - 19/07/2011 18:03 - United States

Today, whenever I do something that the kid I am babysitting likes, he pats me on the head and says "good girl". I'm whipped by a seven year old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 536

You deserved it 8 555

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Same thing different taste

By YAABOIII - 05/04/2009 22:04 - United States

Today, the 7 year old boy I was babysitting studied my upper lip and said "It's okay, my daddy won't let me shave yet either." I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 215

You deserved it 8 803

Threat

By fuck you, kid - 16/07/2014 18:56 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 341

You deserved it 4 000

By Missyangel - 31/12/2009 07:39 - United States

Today, my 7 year-old looked at me and stated, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 370

You deserved it 11 451

By Anonymous - 02/11/2014 19:47 - Australia - Werribee

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 976

You deserved it 4 752

By amiliaroberts123 - 15/10/2012 00:45 - United States - Raphine

Today, I was babysitting, and we were playing a game. Because he was little, I let him win all the games. He then turned to me and said, "You're really bad at this." I got very defensive and won the next game, and was actually proud that I beat a 3-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 332

You deserved it 8 927

By lamponau - 09/11/2008 11:26 - France

Today, my 6-year-old son said to me, "You smell nice daddy." Surprised but flattered, I thanked him. He then added, "I like the smell of cheese!'" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 524

You deserved it 6 169

What up big pimps?

By Anonymous - 05/05/2023 12:00

Today, I just got done being yelled at by my son's headteacher and a bunch of parents, all because my 6 year-old son has been arranging kiss dates between his classmates in exchange for sweets and so on. My little pimp in training. Not a proud dad moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 190

By MommyProblems - 19/01/2014 05:17 - United States

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 026

You deserved it 6 857

Damian?

By Anonymous - 16/09/2019 06:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, while babysitting, I got stabbed by a 7 year-old with a mechanical pencil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 115

Dat ass

By brandonborgie - 10/08/2021 04:01 - Australia

Today, my boss slapped me on the ass and said, "Good work, princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 246

You deserved it 125

Next

Top comments

mk58 31

Wednesday 20 July 2011 0:04

You're like his bitch.

Mi24hind 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 0:10

I see a pimp in the making

Comments

supermariomoreno 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 7:46

dont molest him now!

Iamnotmyself 17

Wednesday 20 July 2011 7:47

-225 Only in fairy tales ;) thank god I have an imagination.

FunnyGuy5051 7

Wednesday 20 July 2011 7:47

#224 i feel the same way, also sent you an pm

atreyafail_666 4

Wednesday 20 July 2011 7:52

ur mom wants a treat

construction 7

Wednesday 20 July 2011 7:57

^ what are you 12?

seanders 10

Wednesday 20 July 2011 8:30

Good girl! Now he'll watch you pee and give you treats.;)

cimh 9

Wednesday 20 July 2011 8:42

She obviously "gets this treatment" everytime she does something well, so it's logical that she does that to somebody else because she thinks it's normal!

GP_22 1

Wednesday 20 July 2011 8:44

Dear FML, There isn't any way to 'be respectful' on this one.

MyApocalypse 1

Wednesday 20 July 2011 8:47

Lol, this reminds me of my friend Kyle...

GamerMatt97 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 8:48

little brat

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The Top

Today, I had to call a customer. I usually try to avoid calling customers because I have a very prominent speech impediment. Well, it turns out the customer I called also has a speech impediment and thought I was mocking her. She hung up on me and filed a formal complaint with my company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 806

You deserved it 624

Today, my time-off request was denied because I'd said on my application that I have “open availability.” This is normally true, except my mother passed away and I need to travel to go to her funeral. I attempted to appeal, but ended up fired for “misleading” the company by “lying on a job application.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 561

You deserved it 104

The Top

Today, I parked my car, went to pay for my spot, and returned to my car only to find a parking violation ticket tucked under the windshield wipers. This all happened in less than a minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 683

You deserved it 1 990

Today, I walked in on my Mum and Dad having sex and didn't even realize what they were doing until she shouted at him to go harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 407

You deserved it 5 978

Today, I found out that my sister, who is 16 years older than me, is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192 556

You deserved it 10 013

Today, for our anniversary, I sang my boyfriend a heartfelt, self-written song. The first thing he said when I finished was "Your fly is open." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 147

You deserved it 6 408

Today, I received my first negative feedback on my otherwise flawless eBay record. The woman who bought the item said it wasn't as delicious as she was expecting, so there must be something wrong with it. What was I selling? A new and unopened lipstick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 534

You deserved it 2 341

Today, while at a family baby shower, my grandfather thought it would be funny to inform me, in front of everyone, that I had gotten fat. I'm 7 months pregnant and the baby shower was for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 172