Today, whenever I do something that the kid I am babysitting likes, he pats me on the head and says "good girl". I'm whipped by a seven year old. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, the 7 year old boy I was babysitting studied my upper lip and said "It's okay, my daddy won't let me shave yet either." I'm a girl. FML
Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML
Today, my 7 year-old looked at me and stated, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
Today, I was babysitting, and we were playing a game. Because he was little, I let him win all the games. He then turned to me and said, "You're really bad at this." I got very defensive and won the next game, and was actually proud that I beat a 3-year-old. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son said to me, "You smell nice daddy." Surprised but flattered, I thanked him. He then added, "I like the smell of cheese!'" FML
Today, I just got done being yelled at by my son's headteacher and a bunch of parents, all because my 6 year-old son has been arranging kiss dates between his classmates in exchange for sweets and so on. My little pimp in training. Not a proud dad moment. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, while babysitting, I got stabbed by a 7 year-old with a mechanical pencil. FML
Today, my boss slapped me on the ass and said, "Good work, princess." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mk58 31
You're like his bitch.
Mi24hind 0
I see a pimp in the making
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (280)
supermariomoreno 0
dont molest him now!
Iamnotmyself 17
-225 Only in fairy tales ;) thank god I have an imagination.
FunnyGuy5051 7
#224 i feel the same way, also sent you an pm
atreyafail_666 4
ur mom wants a treat
construction 7
^ what are you 12?
seanders 10
Good girl! Now he'll watch you pee and give you treats.;)
cimh 9
She obviously "gets this treatment" everytime she does something well, so it's logical that she does that to somebody else because she thinks it's normal!
GP_22 1
Dear FML, There isn't any way to 'be respectful' on this one.
MyApocalypse 1
Lol, this reminds me of my friend Kyle...
GamerMatt97 0
little brat