Love: Today, my boyfriend of six years came home wearing a ninja suit....

By ninja breakup? - 11/10/2018 14:00

Today, my boyfriend of six years came home wearing a ninja suit. When I asked why, he said "These are my breakup clothes. I'm breaking up with you." He then screamed, threw a plastic shuriken at me and ran away. It hit me in the breast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 617

You deserved it 352

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/12/2012 11:53 - Canada

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 092

You deserved it 4 194

By Anonymous - 15/02/2012 19:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 878

You deserved it 2 798

By Busted - 16/03/2010 18:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend since I believed him to be cheating on me with another woman, something he adamantly denied. I went to his house to get all my stuff back. After I left, I discovered a silk thong that definitely did not belong to me, in amongst my clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 497

You deserved it 4 665

By hh. - 05/12/2014 21:13 - United States - Clear Lake

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to break up with him. When I got there, I got sent on a scavenger hunt that ended with him proposing to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 654

You deserved it 7 232

By Anonymous - 22/09/2010 07:47 - Venezuela

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by spray-painting it on my locker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 011

You deserved it 3 713

This ain't working out

By just a reaction - 17/08/2020 23:09

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a heated argument. He raised his hand like he was going to hit me. Having been hit by my ex before, I panicked and instinctively kicked his legs out from under him. He then dumped me because he said he was just gonna scare me, but I used real violence on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 056

You deserved it 337

By iJuli - 08/04/2012 05:17 - United States - Billings

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be a good idea to break up with me in his car. I had to walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 412

You deserved it 2 687

By rotezora - 02/09/2012 12:44 - Switzerland - Basel

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 550

You deserved it 3 601

By Jessica - 23/03/2013 19:00 - United States - Brighton

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of seven years. He stared at me, then said, "Yeah, okay then. I'm gonna watch TV now." He then turned on the TV and watched Top Gun. Not quite the response I was hoping for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 769

You deserved it 41 255

The GOAT

By stunned - 15/03/2010 15:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me when he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore. We gave our stuff back, he was joking and happy the whole time until I told him I was taking back my cat. At that point he burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 904

You deserved it 3 962

BurnInDemonFire 34

Monday 1 October 2018 17:08

So he let you know who he was, where he was, and what he was up to? He's a shit ninja, and a shit boyfriend. You're better off without him.

skippydoda 32

Thursday 11 October 2018 14:02

You may not be able to dodge ninja weapons but you dodged a bullet.

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 34

Monday 1 October 2018 17:08

So he let you know who he was, where he was, and what he was up to? He's a shit ninja, and a shit boyfriend. You're better off without him.

skippydoda 32

Thursday 11 October 2018 14:02

You may not be able to dodge ninja weapons but you dodged a bullet.

TumblrweedPasses 11

Thursday 11 October 2018 14:19

Probably for the breast- er i mean best

CrazedSanity 17

Thursday 11 October 2018 14:55

Good riddance.

jkjorn 16

Thursday 11 October 2018 15:32

You couldn't have seen that coming- him being a ninja and all.

Howard Davidson III 11

Thursday 11 October 2018 15:58

He was aiming to break your heart.

blahblabbity 19

Thursday 11 October 2018 19:26

that’s what happens when you date a ten year old

Marta Perlicka 13

Friday 12 October 2018 1:59

He knows how to break up in style.

Takegami 22

Friday 12 October 2018 7:58

This is legendary

oceanDiamond 2

Friday 12 October 2018 14:10

ew wat a little boy!

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Relatable You're fired Work Cars Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Roommate Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 2 157

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 784

You deserved it 22 714

The Top

Today, our roof collapsed due to water damage. I had saved the money to get the roof fixed months ago, but my wife saw a scare story about gas stoves and demanded we spend the money getting every gas-powered appliance ripped out and replaced. That new HVAC system will work great in a condemned house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 193

Today, I was chatting with a coworker when he said he was a "Sigma male." I laughed, thinking he was joking. He then got mad when I explained how the whole alpha/beta thing was actually debunked by its own creator. Sigma balls, dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 155

Today, my only pair of shoes that I brought got stolen at the airport while I was being checked by security. I'm now stuck 1000 miles from home with no shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 168

You deserved it 2 487

Today, I got a call from the office telling me I was fired. When I asked why, my boss explained my mother called and told him I was in a "weak mental state." She thought she was helping me get off for my birthday. Now I have no job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 729

You deserved it 3 459

Today, after spending all night packing for my 5am flight to Brazil, my cat peed all over my open suitcase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 705

You deserved it 721

Today, I opened my closet to get my uniform to get ready for work, and found the cat my step-mom was looking for the night before. Apparently, it snuck in there and was too stupid to miaow to be let out, but had no problem pissing all over all my stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 126

You deserved it 3 308

Same thing different taste

This ain't working out

The GOAT

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