Today, we had an office party. I got extremely drunk and invited my younger coworker into the bathroom to make out repeatedly. Not only did he reject me multiple times, but he also looked super traumatised and hasn’t said a word to me since. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a huge party. My ex boyfriend was there who I still have feelings for, so I decided to make him jealous by making out with the really drunk guy next to me. While we were making out, he threw up in my mouth and all over me. Everybody found it hysterical including my ex. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML
Today, I drunkenly made out with my 65 year-old married female boss. I'm a 21 year-old male intern. I have a feeling work will be awkward tomorrow. FML
Today, I went a double date with my coworker, his girlfriend, and her friend. After some drinks, her best friend stopped including me in conversations. We got back to my place and she was trying to fuck both of them, and ignored me all night. This is the third girl this happened with. FML
Today, I finally kissed the guy I really love at a party. He took me outside and immediately vomited. FML
Today, my work had an employee party at the park and I drank a little too much vodka. Towards the end of the party, I found myself making out with a tree in front of all my co-workers. FML
Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML
Today, I hung out with my crush for only the second time at his apartment. He was having a party. After a few sips of my green apple Smirnoff, I puked up the chinese food I had eaten earlier all over his new couch in front of him and a bunch of people I didn't know. FML
Today, I was working a midnight shift when a guy came in drunk and was trying to get me to come home with him. I said I had a boyfriend. As I said this, my manager, who has no teeth and B.O, said he was my boyfriend. I will never live this down with my co-workers. FML
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Top comments
bluejello2001 18
So you got drunk and sexually harassed a younger coworker? F *his* life. If there's any fallout with HR over this, you need to recognise that you have it coming for your behaviour. Apologize to the guy next time you see him.
Lennell McCoy 5
can you blame him? he could've caught charges for making out with a drunk girl
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Comments (24)
Akitakat 31
I’m... exactly how young are we talking?!
xdeemuiz 6
such pain
chosha_fml 27
Apologise for having been a total asshole and stop drinking at office parties - or at all if that’s how you act when you’re drunk.
AmbrosiaFan 19
YDI. He should file harassment charges against you, BTW...
BurnInDemonFire 39
No fat chicks. No old chicks. No ugly chicks. And no drunk chicks, unless they're super hot college chicks. That is the credo of the Club 18-30 straight guy. Basically, you should know better.
Suaria 38
This is sexual harassment. You're lucky he hasn't reported you to HR which is his right to do so. I think you should apologize to him and lay off the drinks at work functions.
A-Rod 1
I miss out on all the good jobs. FML
Sg-1NJ 3
that's sexual assault. fk ur life, you deserve it.