Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my dog pooped on the floor, and the Roomba my sweet boyfriend bought me as a housewarming gift, ran over it. FML
Today, I finally broke down and paid someone to clean my condo. Sometime after she finished, my cat threw up. Then my roomba went off, smearing regurgitated mackerel all over the freshly washed floors. There goes $150. FML
Today, my roommate finally cleaned her cat's very full litter box. I later found our only good spatula crusted with kitty feces, which she'd left on the kitchen counter for me to find. FML
Today, I finally tested out my new robot vacuum cleaner. My puppy decided she would test it out too by leaving a brown surprise for it to find, which it did. There are now brown marks in every room of the house. FML
Today, I sleepily sprang out of bed to battle a determined off-brand rattly Roomba for the right to clear up a large puddle of cat barf. Guess who won… FML
Today, I dropped my wedding ring on the carpet. Just as I was about to pick it up, my Roomba sucked it up. FML
Today, it was my first night house-sitting my friend's place while he's on vacation. I was reading in bed when I heard scratching downstairs, so I called him in a panic. He told me to check the kitchen. I did. It was his automatic robot vacuum thing, which he'd never thought to mention before, and it was repeatedly trying to climb onto a slipper. FML
Today, I came home to shredded tissues all over the floor. I yelled at my dog, who looked guilty but confused. Turns out, it wasn’t him, it was my robot vacuum cleaner again. It had sucked up a bunch of tissues and napkins from under the couch and then spread them all over the place like confetti. I owe my dog an apology. FML
Today, my husband and I cleaned our house. We swept, mopped, vacuumed, dusted, and scrubbed. We moved the furniture and got in the cracks. We were extremely thorough. At 9 p.m., our cat had diarrhea and he got it all over himself. He didn't know what to do, so he ran through the house, spraying poop everywhere. FML
Today, I watched as my poor old cat dragged his ass across our living room carpet, leaving an equally long shit stain on our pristine carpet. My pleas for him to stop only made his diarrhea worse as he ran off. FML
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Top comments
shinklefly 20
Waiting for the shitty puns
604 11
You've cat to be kitten me right meow!
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Comments (84)
mister_icicle 17
Build a turd-sensor attachment, become independently wealthy. :-)
HeWillBeLoved105 22
You just made my morning.
Colon_Man 17
Apparently, this is a pretty common occurrence. I've heard of it from a couple different acquaintances. Cleaning it up is a nightmare, I hear. Plus, you'll always know.
LindseyTheMoose 24
Is anybody else reminded of Geoff from Achievement Hunter? The same thing happened to him except with his dog.
dickfitzwell6969 7
Exactly what I thought haha
ohSNAPyall 27
Aha! So we do have one leg up on the robots.
panicxgirl 12
That's a shitty situation to be in.
SmittyJA24 26
That you own multiple cats... YDI. They're highly destructive; & what they don't destroy with their claws, they shit & piss upon.
ksks1234 33
Apparently one shat and pissed upon you...
1dvos_grl3 21
apparently it didn't 'clean' that well..
joyboy390 12
Thats why nothing beats the tried and true ild fashioned vacuum. Nothing like that happens if youre actually doing the cleaning unless youre not paying attention either way YDI
AlphaWolf72 8
That sounds exactly like what happened to Geoff from Achievement Hunters lol only his was with dog poop