Love and Animals: Today, I'm moving to the barn. Two weeks ago I bought my girlfriend...

By Outfoxed - 07/08/2018 22:00

Today, I'm moving to the barn. Two weeks ago I bought my girlfriend the birthday gift she most wanted: two ducklings. They’re scatting everywhere but she eats, cuddles, and sleeps with them in our bed. I asked if they could go live outside and she said, "No, you can." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 720

You deserved it 690

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/08/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, I applied to live in a barn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 338

You deserved it 8 629

By pigglepigglepiggle - 24/11/2009 02:30 - United States

Today, I agreed to buy my girlfriend a piggle for Christmas. The pig is miniature. The noise it makes is not. Oh, and I just found out it's not living with her, but with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 519

You deserved it 29 595

Occam's razor

By Anonymous - 20/11/2013 01:09 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 727

You deserved it 3 762

By Anonymous - 20/02/2015 01:46 - United States - Lebanon

Today, my mother moved in to my 2-bedroom apartment with me. She brought her boyfriend, 4 chihuahuas, and 2 birds with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 842

You deserved it 5 101

Meat is murder

By lanbon182 - 10/04/2009 05:11 - United States

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

I agree, your life sucks 251 763

You deserved it 31 278

Cool moves, Dahmer

By IwantOff - 09/10/2022 07:30

Today, as my new boyfriend was taking me home from our first date, a family of ducks walked across the road. I yelled at him to stop, but he ran over every single one of them. His logic? “They shouldn’t have been in the way,” and it was “natural selection anyway for them being so stupid.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 132

You deserved it 189

By Anonymous - 01/05/2017 20:42

Today, I came home to yet another kitten. My girlfriend swore to me this would never happen again. When I reminded her of her promise, she told me the kitten will be staying, and she wants me to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 903

You deserved it 1 135

No, Drake, no

By dumb cats - 24/10/2020 05:01 - United States - Victorville

Today, my girlfriend and I were walking near a pond when we saw a drake forcefully mating with a duck. She burst into tears and demanded I stop them. When I told her no, that it’s just nature and thats how they breed, she dumped me for supporting and "enabling rape." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 200

You deserved it 704

By TCRII - 11/10/2017 22:30 - United States - Springfield

Today, my wife and I agreed to get two horses. She got three horses and a pregnant goat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 387

You deserved it 644

Manchild

By beeee - 26/07/2010 04:03 - Australia

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. Up until now, I thought my cat was the only four year-old I had to deal with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 330

You deserved it 12 553

interesting33 36

Monday 23 July 2018 19:58

I have to ask, did you do the research on how to look after them and what they would be like? it sounds like a sweet present but you need to make sure you both agreed and know about the living conditions

BurnInDemonFire 33

Tuesday 24 July 2018 2:01

Hey, if Joey and Chandler made it work with their duck, and chicken, you can make it work, too. Also, if it's not red, it's not a barn.

Comments

chosha_fml 26

Wednesday 8 August 2018 6:22

If you actually move to the barn, YDI.

boopingsnoot 24

Wednesday 8 August 2018 6:40

I’ve heard of crazy cat ladies who live oblivious to the urine and feces around them, but ducks?! Honestly, think about living somewhere else. Where there is no shit in your bed.

Charlie Given 26

Wednesday 8 August 2018 9:49

Just wait till she get bird flu it came from ducks and also ducks needs to be outside there wild animals not house pets.

Duskyb 12

Thursday 9 August 2018 17:50

Should anyone else come up against this situation- they make cloth diapers for house ducks and chickens. You can find them on etsy and I've even seen the damn things on Wish. Poultry don't have sphincter muscles, they cannot possibly be house trained ever and if you MUST keep one in the house you have to contain them in a small area you can clean or diaper them.

michaelscashier 5

Sunday 19 August 2018 15:23

If you care about her enough to be willing to move into a barn for her, get the ducks some damn poultry diapers, and all will be well

shannon2348 14

Monday 3 February 2020 5:33

I really don't see how she could possibly be sleeping with the ducks. They shit constantly. And the fact that you're willing to go sleep in a barn is kinda sad.