Today, I got home from a long day of work and saw a pile of dog puke on the kitchen floor. I went to get paper towels and found a pile of dog shit. With my foot. Both of my kids were home all day and left the piles for me to clean because "that's gross". FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML
Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML
Today, I woke up early in the morning when it was still dark to go off to work. I saw what looked like a piece of slime that my children would play with and went to pick it up. Nope. Turns out it was puppy shit. Wet, slimy puppy waste. FML
Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML
Today, I felt accomplished after I cleaned the whole house alone, but then I stepped backwards to admire my work and stepped into a pile of dog poop. FML
Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML
Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML
Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. Five minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog had shat in the exact same spot, apparently to make me look stupid. FML
Today, at work, I came back from my break to find a child covered in mud. Turns out it wasn't mud. One of the other children had taken all of the poop out of their diaper and smeared it all over the floor, walls, and other children. The other teacher hadn't noticed, and I had to clean it all up. FML
Today, my dog overturned and ate my trash, leaving coffee grounds and dog puke all over my floor. She also ate the broom. FML
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Top comments
QueenAfrodite 8
Okay pumpkin so what you do is call your lovely children from their holes and make them clean it up no matter how much they complain. They did it because they knew you’d clean it up.
Lalala579121 28
Not gonna lie, I was expecting this FML to end with "I don't have a dog".
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Comments (23)
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Well, it is gross, but still. If your kids are old enough to be home alone, they're old enough to clean up such messes.
Paul B. Gyurcsanszky 14
If your kids wanted the dog, then it’s their responsibility to clean up after it. No matter how “gross”. It’s called growing up. They should try it.
zuckerburg 21
Sounds like you have 2, very pretty, princesses who is used to no work and just getting what they want? Perfect parenting there. Raise 'em entitled, let them feel real life when everything in their world crumbles #lifelessons
zuckerburg 21
The whole point of pets is to teach your kids responsibility. Clearly you're teaching them it's okay to leave something you are responsible for alone for someone else to clean up if you don't feel like it. I wish there was a test for parents. If you fail, you can't have kids. If you have kids and still failed the course, you are killed immediately and a responsible adult will take care of your kids
moonlight77 28
Well, I mean, technically the dog is your responsibility OP. I wouldn’t expect my kids to clean up after the dog (unless they were older and agreed to help take care of the dog).
fde2blknimout 18
And who raised them???
nevereyes 31
My dad does the same thing. Refuses to ever clean up after pets
JackFaire 27
IF it's their dog FML and you should talk about giving up the dog because "it's gross" unless they want to step up and take care of the dog they wanted. If it's your dog that you got then suck it up that's your mess to clean up. Kids or roommates shouldn't have to clean up after your dog. It's not like they asked for it.
maserle 8
sounds like bad parenting.