Today, I found out that my kids are both my half-brothers, and the fertility tests my wife had us do a few years ago showed that I'm sterile. She didn't tell me until I found the test results in her desk and asked her about it. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, in front of my family, my brother's wife announced that she was pregnant with their first child. Everyone joked around and said I was next. Two weeks ago I found out that I'm sterile. FML
Today with a DNA test, I found out that my husband is my half brother. 30 years ago his father made a donation to the sperm bank my mother used, and I’m the result. To make matters worse, I’m pregnant. FML
Today, the paternity test came back. It's like I suspected all along; my "son" is actually my half-brother. FML
Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML
Today, I found out wife has two baby daddies for our two kids. I’m neither one’s baby daddy. FML
Today, I found out that my dad has a massive number of kids he doesn't know about, some of them have hooked up, and it is a serious possibility that I've slept with one of my half-sisters unintentionally. FML
Today, I learned I’m shooting blanks and can’t have children. My wife’s response was that her brother can be our sperm donor. She has no issue with this. FML
Today, I got the results proving if my ex-girlfriend's kid was mine. The results came back negative and I can't have kids. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have 3 kids with my wife. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML
Today, I found out that I’m not the father of my “son” but I'm his uncle. The only thing my wife did was to shrug and say, “Shit happens.” FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
I don't know what method your wife used to get your dad to impregnate her, though I'd guess they did it the biblical way, but keeping the truth from you is unforgivable. Are you prepared to maintain your marriage, and continue raising your half-brothers as your sons? And how are you going to keep your relationship with your dad together, now that you know he knocked up your wife?
1ninjanina 7
This needs a follow-up. I read it that his father impregnated her, didn’t even consider that a half brother “donating” might’ve been a possibility. Amazing what a little punctuation mark can do (or not do).
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Comments (38)
Coral Thompson 6
So are they your half brothers kids or your Dads kids making them YOUR Half brothers?
kalenen 1
congratulations you have the worst wife and worst father ever