Today, there was a knock at my door, and I was greeted by a punch to the face. The man was the extremely angry "fiancé" of the girl I've been married to for just over a year. FML
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70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, a woman came knocking on my door. Not to sell something or to chat, no. To punch me in the mouth. Apparently, I stole her husband and I'm a homewrecker. We don't have a clue who she is. My husband and I have been married for 5 years, and were high school sweethearts. FML
Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
Today, a guy came by my house and demanded my fiancé come out and fight. He explained that my fiancé had been stupid enough to not only troll on a local interest forum, but to leave his name and our address, inviting people to "come shut me up if you think you're tough enough." FML
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today I gently tried to break the news to my now ex-fiance's daughter that her Daddy and I weren't going to get married after all (he cheated), but that I still loved her with all my heart. She responded by punching me in the face. FML
Today, I was awakened in the middle of the night by a frantic banging on my front door. It was a guy whom I'd only been dating a few weeks, with a suitcase. He stated that his wife kicked him out for having an affair, and thought now would be a good time to move in together. FML
Today, I was supposed to get married. I called it off only 20 minutes before the ceremony was supposed to begin because I saw my fiance punch his own mother in the face. FML
Today, my psycho ex got into my wedding ceremony and attacked my wife. FML
Today, I received a phone call from the number of a "single" guy I met online. It was his wife, who is three months pregnant. She threatened to kick my ass. FML
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Top comments
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
For some reason, I laughed at this at first. But look on the bright side - it's a nice wake-up call since it looks like your "wife" is sleeping around behind your back. Good luck and all.
type1 3
haha! some girl you have there..
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Comments (91)
GracefulDemoniac 0
The ex fiance needs to move on. He sounds like one of those crazy stalkers that hunt down women that have clearly rejected them. My former roommate was in a situation very similar to that, and the guy would not leave her alone. Of course you need to hear your wife's side of the story, but chances are this guy is just a mental patient reject. Engagement doesn't really mean anything to the law, it's just a ring. If it's your wife's fault too....well at least you found out after only two years...
SheriffBart 0
Nobody said he was an ex-fiance.
_THE_MASTER_ 0
I think the OP meant his wife was cheating on him with the'fiance.' and the 'fiance' thought the OP was trying to steal his soon-to-be-bride. but, seriously, a punch to the face? that's kind of bitch. if some dude was trying to get my girl, who she had been cheating on me with, I'd say take her. **** that, OP. ditch the wife, let her be with the 'fiance' and let him get cheated on...and, since you know what the dude looks like AND he assaulted you, she won't get shit in a divorce settlement, because she had an affair.
kukopia 0
Clearly facts missing here. The guy at the door could be a wacko that was never actually in the wifes life. The guy could be a wacko that was rejected (even nicely) by the wife. Could be she never broke up with him. The guy could be the wifes lover. Could be at the wrong door all together. Could be something all together different...
Jimboom 12
I hope you kicked the guy in the nyyuuuutttsss!
AmpulexCompressa 0
Doesn't your wife deserve to be punched in the face? You're an innocent party in this situation.
TriNiBaByDoLL 0
what a ****! good thing u found out now rather than later...I hope u punched him back...he should be mad at her, not u!
BeeSkwaird 0
I read this as her having been engaged and then running away with the OP, and it took her fiancé over a year to find his lost love. If so, definitely still FYL, but I see his side too, and I'd be pissed (though I certainly wouldn't punch first and ask questions later). Either way... are all girls this heartless? I have faith they're not all this way... but unfortunately my experience has been otherwise.
usnwife 18
Nope, we're not all like that! I waited bed a year for my husband while he was deployed, never once was tempted to cheat on him. Some of us can be honest, loyal, and loving (as long as we get that in return!). :)
hatemyluck 15
Yup, some of us just need a sweet, loving guy and we'll be lovable back. Even if I was dating a jerk, I wouldn't cheat on him, I would just break up.
themixedt4pe 0
I am so confused by this FML it's not even funny. I assume it's an FML because she cheated, but I can see what #13 said making sense too. Oh well.
kukopia 0
How rude!! He should be thanking you for breaking her in and warming her up.
alwaysalady 0
How can you miss that? I mean, when I was engaged (to only one man, thank you very much) I spent a lot of time with him. Wouldn't she have been conspicuoisly absent, as she courted Bigomy? This really sucks for you
DrunkenValor 0
Said it once and I'll say it again... polyamory.
mo_the_owl 0
That was the topic of True Life last night.
DrunkenValor 0
I'm afraid I'm British and shun the television, unless it's family guy or satyrical panel shows. Or ****.
lmmmr 0
And did you notice that not one of them was happy?
DrunkenValor 0
Just because certain couples can't make polyamory work 32 doesn't mean none of us can. I was quite happy in one for two years or so - and I wonder how many couples are married and unhappy, honestly... Also, 33, that is correct. Followed closely by tea cakes, and brunch at 10:30.
DrunkenValor 0
I'm half australian so I like stealing my tea and biscuits. In your case, you like a side of heroin and cocaine with your hamburger and guiness breakfast. Post wife beating.
shinybluedollar 3
HA HA HA HA HA! Oh, that was so wrong. I feel dirty for laughing. :D Drunkenvalor, you're the best
mo_the_owl 0
I didn't see it either, only discussed it with some friends. I think the success of a polyamorous relationship would rely a lot on the gender dynamic. 3 guys- no PMS 3 girls- synchronized PMS 1 guy, 2 girls- Win! 2 guys, 1 girl- Ultimate win.
DrunkenValor 0
Sadly, I was sharing a girl. You lucky devils.
glitchead 0
drunkenvalor, that was the most racist, dirty epic win ever!!! you sound like you'd be a good stand up comedian. Try me!!! 1/3 Spanish (SPAIN, NOT MEXICO! Ignorant idiots..) 1/3 Native American, Cherokee, 1/6 Irish, 1/6 French. Message me what stereotypical assumption you come up with.
LaGringaC7 0
@ 35 Ecuador!!!! Guayaquil or Quito? Me, I'm half Ecuadorian, 25% Irish, and 25% German. I don't HAVE a stereotype. Stereotyping's awkward anyways. People are people across the board.
canucksrule88 0
APRIL FOOLS!