Today, there was a guy following me, so to avoid him, I crouched down and basically waddled behind a wall to get past him. Sure enough, first thing I see when I get around the corner, while still waddling, was an unhappy midget couple staring right at me. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML
Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML
Today, I was chased on my bike by a couple of guys in a car. I rode into a public park to cut through and try to lose them. I looked by to check if they were following me, but they had to stop. I laughed, looked forward, and rammed into a little girl. FML
Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML
Today, while walking home after a night of partying, I saw a thin, bald person in a suit looking at me from across the street. I got flashbacks to the Slender Man, screamed like a little bitch and ran. Then I realized I'd just humiliated myself in front of some random guy waiting for a bus. FML
Today, as I was taking a walk, I heard a cyclist and so I wanted to move to the other side of the sidewalk for them. It turns out that I walked directly in front of them instead. Nearly scared them to death. FML
Today, as I was coming out of the ladies' room, I saw a guy glancing at me. A few minutes later, I saw him coming at me at a fast rate. I decided to run from him. As I got out of the building and into a cab, I saw him from the window waving my phone at me. He was just trying to return it. FML
Today, a guy who annoys me walked over. To avoid speaking to him, I pretended to be on the phone and he walked away. A few moments later, my phone rang. I looked around to see if he'd seen me. He had. He was the one calling me from down the hall. FML
Today, I was getting catcalled downtown by a guy I've never seen before. Then he told me he knows where I live, and accurately described my apartment while he followed me for 2 blocks. FML
Today, I went out to go meet up with a guy. I walked all the way to his house just to see him. Then he made me hide behind a bush till his girlfriend left. FML
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Top comments
yamatelle 19
As I read through this, I was expecting the stalker to wait for you around the corner. The midgets were completely unexpected.
LardZilla 11
Wow, that's just some bad luck.
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Comments (102)
steadycreepin 5
Well, what are the odds?
mistersheezy 7
I think you got the short end of that plan.
ANGRY_BLAKSHEEP_ 0
PUN
Enslaved 38
They were probably staring and just wondering what you were doing. I highly doubt they felt you were imitating them.
structuredchaoz 4
Moral of the story, even midgets should mind their own damn business.
Bea_FaCurtains 17
They were probably unhappy because you called them midgets.
Calyx_fml 22
YDI for using the m word
freckleface221 19
Is vertically challenged better?
bubbles42597 0
That's the technical term for who they are, it's not like she called them one of snow whites friends
jessthebest3 0
Actually.. I AM a little person. And literally no other little people I know go by the M word. Its actualy considered offensive. Don't be ignorant.
crystalrain17 14
You should really call them "little people"...
whoopdydoop69 6
or "fun sized" people!
poor_gurll1198 17
Hey, don't vote that down. Little people are people with feelings too. I had a relative go through horrible depression because people were making fun of her for being a "midget" or "fun sized"
miz66independent 1
So I take it that one wasn't happy. He must have been grumpy.
colorfullyemo 4
You should have told him the "short" explanation.
The_creator_fml 2
They probably thought you were after there lucky charms