Today, the whole family came together to celebrate my grandmother's 80th birthday. My grandfather read a poem he'd written about how he had taken my grandmother's virginity 60 years ago. It went on for about 30 minutes. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my 70-year-old grandmother held a celebration over officially having divorced my grandfather. FML
Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML
Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML
Today, my grandmother gave me a huge speech on being abstinent until marriage. Being the honest person that I am, I told her I wasn't a virgin anymore. Instead of being mad and telling me I was going to hell. She asked me what my favourite things to do sexually were. And told me hers in detail. FML
Today, at a big family wedding, my great nana shared quite loudly with us that most of the people in the pub wouldn’t exist if at 15 she hadn’t dumped her lying boyfriend, then made herself feel better by losing her virginity to an Italian waiter and accidentally becoming pregnant with my grandma. FML
Today, during a family reunion, my 89 year-old grandma stood up and drunkenly made a speech about how ashamed I should be of myself for still being single. She then passed out at the table. Half my family got up to help her, the other half whispered in agreement. FML
Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML
Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML
Today, I attended a family reunion, during which my grandma gave me "relationship advice" in front of everyone. She's been married five times, and her longest marriage lasted a whole 6 months. FML
Today, my 92-year-old great-grandfather ran down the stairs in excitement, despite his severe arthritis. He told my great-grandmother that he was having the first erection in over 10 years, and grandma ordered me to leave so they could do it right there. FML
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Top comments
saIty 17
He must have been very specific if it went on for 30 minutes.
Soloman212 28
How romantic! I'm sure the whole family enjoyed it. Did you ask for an encore?
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Comments (101)
DKjazz 20
30 minutes, eh? The poem or the sex?
marinus_fml 20
Shoulda yelled out, "Cool story, bro"
sxe_beast 11
Or TL;DL (too long; didn't listen)?!
rawrriri 8
Tell it again.
leprechaun23 15
that's hot man XD
owynsmom04 1
Omg! That's my bf's family!!! Lol
CONKERMANIAC 7
They're normal..just outspoken...and probaly slightly senile.
Senior29 8
So sweet!!!
dayellethescene 0
Agree. it's cute but in a weird way :o
kaoriblossom 8
A weird, twisted way
CONKERMANIAC 7
all the grizzely detail..squelching sounds included hopefully !
Senior29 8
So sweet!!!
Zebidee 9
Meanwhile Grandma and Great Uncle Bob are secretly low-fiving under the table.
Casuality 6
Well, after witnessing certain "situations", I can honestly say that many elderly people stop giving a damn about what others think at a certain point; And do not mind putting others in uncomfortable positions as long as they get their way. Congrats to OP's grandfather for getting there. I can't wait. :)