Intimacy: Today, the whole family came together to celebrate my grandmother's...

By Anonymous - 14/07/2011 08:40 - Austria

Today, the whole family came together to celebrate my grandmother's 80th birthday. My grandfather read a poem he'd written about how he had taken my grandmother's virginity 60 years ago. It went on for about 30 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 049

You deserved it 2 878

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By chickety boom - 02/08/2013 12:41 - United States - Austin

Today, my 70-year-old grandmother held a celebration over officially having divorced my grandfather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 983

You deserved it 4 308

Sex work is real work

By thatssickkk - 17/02/2010 06:40 - United States

Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 593

You deserved it 2 734

By Anonymous - 15/11/2012 14:54 - United States - Erie

Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 557

You deserved it 49 570

Mad beliefs

By Anonymous - 12/04/2009 00:20 - United States

Today, my grandmother gave me a huge speech on being abstinent until marriage. Being the honest person that I am, I told her I wasn't a virgin anymore. Instead of being mad and telling me I was going to hell. She asked me what my favourite things to do sexually were. And told me hers in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 287

You deserved it 20 811

TMI great-grannie!

By Anonymous - 08/02/2024 21:00

Today, at a big family wedding, my great nana shared quite loudly with us that most of the people in the pub wouldn’t exist if at 15 she hadn’t dumped her lying boyfriend, then made herself feel better by losing her virginity to an Italian waiter and accidentally becoming pregnant with my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 168

By Anonymous - 02/09/2019 04:00 - New Zealand - Invercargill

Today, during a family reunion, my 89 year-old grandma stood up and drunkenly made a speech about how ashamed I should be of myself for still being single. She then passed out at the table. Half my family got up to help her, the other half whispered in agreement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 827

You deserved it 167

By GrandmasWhore - 04/04/2009 05:59 - United States

Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 261

You deserved it 90 506

By fuck you, gran - 09/03/2013 00:38 - United States - Ashland

Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 100

You deserved it 4 094

Relationship specialist

By Anonymous - 16/10/2023 13:00

Today, I attended a family reunion, during which my grandma gave me "relationship advice" in front of everyone. She's been married five times, and her longest marriage lasted a whole 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 688

You deserved it 90

By Anonymous - 14/07/2018 05:00

Today, my 92-year-old great-grandfather ran down the stairs in excitement, despite his severe arthritis. He told my great-grandmother that he was having the first erection in over 10 years, and grandma ordered me to leave so they could do it right there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 733

You deserved it 780

saIty 17

Thursday 14 July 2011 15:51

He must have been very specific if it went on for 30 minutes.

Soloman212 28

Thursday 14 July 2011 15:48

How romantic! I'm sure the whole family enjoyed it. Did you ask for an encore?

Comments

DKjazz 20

Thursday 14 July 2011 16:03

30 minutes, eh? The poem or the sex?

marinus_fml 19

Thursday 14 July 2011 16:06

Shoulda yelled out, "Cool story, bro"

sxe_beast 11

Thursday 14 July 2011 17:04

Or TL;DL (too long; didn't listen)?!

rawrriri 8

Friday 15 July 2011 3:28

Tell it again.

leprechaun23 15

Thursday 14 July 2011 16:34

that's hot man XD

owynsmom04 1

Thursday 14 July 2011 16:38

Omg! That's my bf's family!!! Lol

CONKERMANIAC 7

Thursday 14 July 2011 17:09

They're normal..just outspoken...and probaly slightly senile.

Senior29 8

Thursday 14 July 2011 17:09

So sweet!!!

dayellethescene 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 18:16

Agree. it's cute but in a weird way :o

kaoriblossom 8

Friday 15 July 2011 9:04

A weird, twisted way

CONKERMANIAC 7

Thursday 14 July 2011 17:11

all the grizzely detail..squelching sounds included hopefully !

Senior29 8

Thursday 14 July 2011 17:11

So sweet!!!

Zebidee 8

Thursday 14 July 2011 17:13

Meanwhile Grandma and Great Uncle Bob are secretly low-fiving under the table.

Casuality 6

Thursday 14 July 2011 17:27

Well, after witnessing certain "situations", I can honestly say that many elderly people stop giving a damn about what others think at a certain point; And do not mind putting others in uncomfortable positions as long as they get their way. Congrats to OP's grandfather for getting there. I can't wait. :)