Intimacy: Today, the girl I'm secretly in love with, whom I was talking...

By loon - 28/10/2008 11:13 - France

Today, the girl I'm secretly in love with, whom I was talking to on MSN, told me she'd "brb in 10, no wait 20, oh make that 30 min" depending on her boyfriend's stamina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 842

You deserved it 9 776

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

By Titanic - 07/12/2008 08:46 - France

Today, the girl I've been hitting on for months on MSN and that I'm about to meet told me "I know you are in love, and you know I'm not". Erm, no, I didn't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 997

You deserved it 5 149

By Alex - 31/03/2009 04:41 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 753

You deserved it 89 071

Fast and Furious

By Anonymous - 02/03/2020 01:00

Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 1 762

By Falouila - 17/12/2008 07:15 - France

Today, I picked up my computer which had been at the repair shop for two weeks. I quickly logged on to MSN to talk to the girl who I'd been hitting on for weeks. Her profile picture was a photo of herself with her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 754

You deserved it 5 038

By Anonymous - 29/09/2009 04:38 - United States

Today, I tried to flirt with my girlfriend since I'm really busy and we can't always be together. I tell her online that I think she's hot and she responds "Keep talking I have to pee". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 880

You deserved it 5 899

By wtfrelationship - 21/10/2009 04:07 - Singapore

Today, I told my girlfriend over MSN that we had to talk. I log on to facebook and the first thing I see is that she changed our relationship from "In a Relationship" to "It's Complicated." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 634

You deserved it 11 469

By jailbirdlove - 11/10/2010 01:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 779

You deserved it 4 286

By notmyday - 25/02/2009 23:26 - United States

Today, we were fooling around and I was just about to orgasm when she looked at my clock and said, "I have to go, 'Lost' is on in 20 minutes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 050

You deserved it 8 959

Crushed

By annonymous - 19/09/2012 06:24 - United States

Today, I was talking on the phone with my crush. After an hour of talking she told me, "If you were half as hot as you sound over the phone, I'd date you immediately." Maybe I should give up on love and start a phone sex line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 345

You deserved it 2 708

Phone-blocked

By unamyous - 08/06/2012 13:26 - United States - Canoga Park

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom. Her phone rang and she stopped to have an hour long conversation with her ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 640

You deserved it 4 156

lifepwns 0

Friday 20 March 2009 22:58

the price you pay for hanging onto what you can't have.

will90 5

Thursday 2 April 2009 3:28

Stop being a pussy and get off the sideline.

Comments

quachie 0

Tuesday 10 August 2010 20:33

DAMN! half an hour (Y) that boy should consider going into the porno business

Zahhn 0

Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:02

I know how you feel...

ZachMitch1994 0

Wednesday 11 August 2010 21:16

hahaha that sucks bro

nikkired 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 0:07

Did you ever tell her how you feel, or did you wait like a good little puppy for her to return ?

nikkired 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 0:10

LOL @ # 32

Gateway13 0

Friday 13 August 2010 21:41

man up and win her over!

B4SK3TB4IL 0

Thursday 9 September 2010 1:44

Don't be secretly in love. tell that bich how ya really feel

lilwest 0

Friday 10 September 2010 2:49

Ouch!

Frenchface 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 17:37

sorry about that..poor cat and poor you for being robbed

hthelittleone 10

Thursday 2 June 2011 21:52

I'd go for a day

Keywords

Social Media Love Stalker Instagram Spiders Ironic Animals Embarrassing Phobias Health Bikes Transportation Ecology Drunk Work AITA Poopoo peepee Facebook Geek Vacation Mysterious Weird Video games Gamers Gross First Dates Smells Parents Technology Kids

The Top

Today, my boss fired me because someone hacked our website and replaced pictures of our products with furry porn (don’t Google it, it’s weird as fuck). We don’t have an IT department, but since I spend the most time on the computer controlling stock and purchases, he blamed me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 661

You deserved it 161

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 260

You deserved it 14 934

The Top

Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 388

You deserved it 6 186

Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 786

You deserved it 3 728

Today, I found out that my wife is indeed cheating on me. Not bad enough? She's sleeping with a guy who squats in a derelict storefront near our house. A hobo stole my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 300

You deserved it 193

Today, I still can't decide whether masturbating while looking at myself makes me narcissistic or just plain pathetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 678

You deserved it 37 447

Today, I attended my husband's funeral and my son carried out the eulogy, which basically turned into a character assassination, ending with "and I hope Hell is hot enough for you, old man." Almost our entire family agreed with every word he said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 814

You deserved it 554

Today, I was at my grandma's funeral. While giving the eulogy, I accidentally mixed up "You will be missed" and "You won't be forgotten" and instead said "You won't be missed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 510

You deserved it 7 912

Same thing different taste

Fast and Furious

Crushed

Phone-blocked

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