Intimacy: Today, the girl I'm secretly in love with, whom I was talking...

By loon - 28/10/2008 11:13 - France

Today, the girl I'm secretly in love with, whom I was talking to on MSN, told me she'd "brb in 10, no wait 20, oh make that 30 min" depending on her boyfriend's stamina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 842

You deserved it 9 776

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

By Titanic - 07/12/2008 08:46 - France

Today, the girl I've been hitting on for months on MSN and that I'm about to meet told me "I know you are in love, and you know I'm not". Erm, no, I didn't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 997

You deserved it 5 149

By Alex - 31/03/2009 04:41 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 753

You deserved it 89 071

Fast and Furious

By Anonymous - 02/03/2020 01:00

Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 1 762

By Falouila - 17/12/2008 07:15 - France

Today, I picked up my computer which had been at the repair shop for two weeks. I quickly logged on to MSN to talk to the girl who I'd been hitting on for weeks. Her profile picture was a photo of herself with her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 754

You deserved it 5 038

By Anonymous - 29/09/2009 04:38 - United States

Today, I tried to flirt with my girlfriend since I'm really busy and we can't always be together. I tell her online that I think she's hot and she responds "Keep talking I have to pee". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 880

You deserved it 5 899

By wtfrelationship - 21/10/2009 04:07 - Singapore

Today, I told my girlfriend over MSN that we had to talk. I log on to facebook and the first thing I see is that she changed our relationship from "In a Relationship" to "It's Complicated." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 634

You deserved it 11 469

By jailbirdlove - 11/10/2010 01:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 779

You deserved it 4 286

By notmyday - 25/02/2009 23:26 - United States

Today, we were fooling around and I was just about to orgasm when she looked at my clock and said, "I have to go, 'Lost' is on in 20 minutes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 050

You deserved it 8 959

Crushed

By annonymous - 19/09/2012 06:24 - United States

Today, I was talking on the phone with my crush. After an hour of talking she told me, "If you were half as hot as you sound over the phone, I'd date you immediately." Maybe I should give up on love and start a phone sex line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 345

You deserved it 2 708

Phone-blocked

By unamyous - 08/06/2012 13:26 - United States - Canoga Park

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom. Her phone rang and she stopped to have an hour long conversation with her ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 640

You deserved it 4 156

lifepwns 0

Friday 20 March 2009 22:58

the price you pay for hanging onto what you can't have.

will90 5

Thursday 2 April 2009 3:28

Stop being a pussy and get off the sideline.

Comments

terran0 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 1:52

wow that sucks

responses 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 1:21

I agree, also to the other guy who she was having sex with, FHL, his gf was texting while he was in her.

lifesux32 0

Tuesday 15 June 2010 23:01

dude, i would have died if this happened to me, and if ur still living after this happened, cudos

Ycam 0

Monday 26 July 2010 2:51

wow...that is f*cking terrible. im sorry...

fmlgirl829 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 23:00

hahahahahahahahahaha that was one of the funniest fml stories i have ever heard but sorry about what happened :(

gizmo90 0

Monday 2 August 2010 8:00

sad very sad. Did u really wait?

jackyunder 0

Tuesday 3 August 2010 11:44

you need to get out more.

thedutchess8 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 21:16

does she have no shame???

Rectumwrecker 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 6:06

just wait your turn like everybody else

TheGingerBoy 0

Sunday 8 August 2010 23:03

That sucks bro I feel for ya.

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The Top

Today, I was having sex with a girl when her parents decided to come home early. Trying to run out the back door I fell and broke my ankle. Not only did her former Navy Seal father find out I was banging his little princess, he drove me to the ER, alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 837

You deserved it 30 761

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 260

You deserved it 14 934

The Top

Today, I stopped using porn by blocking it on my phone and laptop. Only problem is I still get off without it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 399

Today, while talking online with my boyfriend, the conversation turned sexual. He stopped responding but I continued with the conversation. Then I got a response, "This is his sister. He fell asleep and I need the computer. I'll tell him you said goodnight, but not that other stuff." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 947

You deserved it 8 071

Today, my idiot neighbor decided the best way to dispose of the poison ivy in his yard was to pile it all up and burn it. I'm severely allergic. It was so bad that one of my eyes is still swollen half shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 182

You deserved it 1 369

Today, I got a very accusatory phone call from my daughter's teacher. According to my daughter, I absolutely refuse to let her eat in the morning. In reality, I told her it’s her responsibility to get herself up and get breakfast on her own before we leave. My daughter is 17 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 339

You deserved it 219

Today, I told my parents I really missed them and wanted to come home for the weekend, as I haven't seen them in months. They told me that was a bad idea and they couldn't fit me into their schedule. I asked what their plans were. They said they didn't have any yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 223

You deserved it 2 688

Today, I found out my 11 year-old's best friend, who is two months older than her, is also her sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 227

You deserved it 127

Same thing different taste

Fast and Furious

Crushed

Phone-blocked

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