Today, the doctor let me know I have an autoimmune disease. The disease results in ulcers in my colon which bleed when I poop. I cried, but only when I was told that I wouldn't be allowed to eat cheese anymore. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I went to the doctor, expecting him to tell me my cancer was gone. Instead, he told me I will need a colostomy, which means all my favorite food will be replaced with yogurt and parsley. No tabbouleh, as onions would make the colostomy bag stink. FML
Today, I spent 5 hours in the emergency room for what I thought was heavy bloody diarrhea. After having various implements and doctors' fingers shoved up my ass, it turns out I was only shitting out the family-sized bag of red spicy cheese curls I had eaten for lunch. FML
Today, after years of my very poor diet finally resulted in a long overdue health scare, I declared I must try to live healthier. Also today, I was reminded of my hypersensitive gag reflex (I'm autistic), which causes my body to vehemently protest the consumption of a variety of healthy foods. This sucks. FML
Today, I found out I have celiac disease. I also happen to be a baker and will be constantly reminded of all the wheat products I can no longer enjoy. FML
Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML
Today, I got diagnosed with stomach ulcers. They are very painful, and I have been throwing up blood. On my latest trip to the toilet, I was heaving and the pain was making me beat the floor with my fist, the toilet lid decided to come crashing down on my head, giving me a minor concussion. FML
Today, I got my colonoscopy results back. I had hoped they'd show what's been causing my stomach pains for the last few weeks, but instead it turns out that my colon is healthy and normal. I basically got cornholed for no goddamn reason. FML
Today, I went to the ER as I have an ulcer and I was exhibiting signs of a perforation. This is when the gorgeous doctor told me he had to stick his finger up my butt to check for rectal bleeding. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML
Today, I learned that the IBS that several doctors have been misdiagnosing me with for 10 years is actually IBD, which is not only infinitely worse, but it's gotten to the point where surgery might be in my immediate future. FML
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Top comments
sarah2144 14
I'd cry too, man. Cheese is better than sex. Sorry for your loss.
Gesula 24
I'm so so sorry
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Comments (118)
sousaphonist 14
I find that to be a perfectly acceptable reason to cry
tintin10_fml 13
ulcerative colitis?
karma_kicks_back 16
I have Behcets and cheese is my fave food - so I went through the grief of saying goodbye to cheese too. Actually it was meat, dairy and gluten but I only grieved for the cheese. I literally feel your pain hun!
reaxion 25
Can you still eat bacon? If so, all hope is not lost!!!!
CLT_420 13
Dude I'm so sorry. Cheese is life I'll pray for you
jb143 9
I'm eating cheese rn ???
liquidpwnage 15
I know how you feel, I have something very similar. They make non dairy cheese, it's not as good but it's something.
mattmsk005 8
No more Pizzia fyl
wolfy_fml 5
I bleed like that too... doctors couldn't figure it out though. The worst time, I had to call 911 for myself and go to the ER because my blood loss was so severe that I could have died... I had about 1/4 to 1/3 of the blood I am supposed to have. Had to stay in a week and get a 10 unit transfusion. >_<
alienarcher 4
I have crohns disease which is basically the same as u.c., but it is not solely located in the colon, I basically eat what I want, but if I try not to overdo it, it just depends on how bad your symptoms are not everyone has the same problems, they told me not to eat cheese too, but it doesn't really bother me unless my stomach is already sore...