Today, the doctor let me know I have an autoimmune disease. The disease results in ulcers in my colon which bleed when I poop. I cried, but only when I was told that I wouldn't be allowed to eat cheese anymore. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I went to the doctor, expecting him to tell me my cancer was gone. Instead, he told me I will need a colostomy, which means all my favorite food will be replaced with yogurt and parsley. No tabbouleh, as onions would make the colostomy bag stink. FML
Today, I spent 5 hours in the emergency room for what I thought was heavy bloody diarrhea. After having various implements and doctors' fingers shoved up my ass, it turns out I was only shitting out the family-sized bag of red spicy cheese curls I had eaten for lunch. FML
Today, after years of my very poor diet finally resulted in a long overdue health scare, I declared I must try to live healthier. Also today, I was reminded of my hypersensitive gag reflex (I'm autistic), which causes my body to vehemently protest the consumption of a variety of healthy foods. This sucks. FML
Today, I found out I have celiac disease. I also happen to be a baker and will be constantly reminded of all the wheat products I can no longer enjoy. FML
Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML
Today, I got diagnosed with stomach ulcers. They are very painful, and I have been throwing up blood. On my latest trip to the toilet, I was heaving and the pain was making me beat the floor with my fist, the toilet lid decided to come crashing down on my head, giving me a minor concussion. FML
Today, I got my colonoscopy results back. I had hoped they'd show what's been causing my stomach pains for the last few weeks, but instead it turns out that my colon is healthy and normal. I basically got cornholed for no goddamn reason. FML
Today, I went to the ER as I have an ulcer and I was exhibiting signs of a perforation. This is when the gorgeous doctor told me he had to stick his finger up my butt to check for rectal bleeding. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML
Today, I learned that the IBS that several doctors have been misdiagnosing me with for 10 years is actually IBD, which is not only infinitely worse, but it's gotten to the point where surgery might be in my immediate future. FML
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Top comments
sarah2144 14
I'd cry too, man. Cheese is better than sex. Sorry for your loss.
Gesula 24
I'm so so sorry
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Comments (118)
nushi87 5
Your life is not over! I have the same diagnosis. Was told to stay away from dairy, spicy and fatty foods, and suggar... I do react badly to suggar, and some spices. But i can eat mozzarella cheese! :D And it looks like i can have lowfat dairyproducts like yoghurt icecream Good luck to you! And hope it works out! :)
Araj_Hs 19
Definitely know the pain! It sucks losing your health, having to go thru so much pain, not being able to do things which every other normal human does.. And ABOVE THAT, they ALWAYS ban your favorite food. I have kidney stones, and doctor banned milk for me. Lol, before this, I used to drink half a gallon of milk everyday. I TOTALLY know the pain! Im sorry for your loss, OP, but nothing above health! Stay strong
blackonblight 33
My god. If I was banned from milk that would be it. Life over. I do the half a gallon a day thing too, and I hate the taste (or non taste) of water. My sympathies to you.
Colon_Man 17
Dear Lord, that's a lot of milk, you two.
FMLUSER12345612 12
sucks
Kailayla 29
As a Dutch kaaskop, I cannot imagine not eating cheese
cheeeksss 29
Omg I would cry too. I am the person who gets extra cheese as a "topping" on my pizzas ;___;
gearhead369 20
Well hey, cheese is a pretty important thing in anyone's life!
Flyndaran 10
Try being one the very few born lactose intolerant, like I was. Dairy has always been an abusive lover.
AndyClara 39
Congenital lactase deficiency?
trippyturts 7
That's not gouda at all! Sorry to hear OP
8Dirty1 24
the struggle is real
BaDumTsss_fml 23
You're not alone; I have ulcerative colitis too, this being my fifth year :( send me a message and I'll share some advice