Love: Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my...

By suosi - 26/07/2015 17:55 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 096

You deserved it 2 153

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Wrong place, wrong time

By Matthew - 10/03/2021 00:30

Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 129

By Twysted91 - 28/12/2014 03:50 - United States - Milford

Today, I was rushed to the emergency room in crippling pain, thanks to a very dangerous cluster of cysts on my ovaries that could rupture at any time. My boyfriend took this news as my way of denying him sex and broke up with me for "going to obscene lengths" to emasculate him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 957

You deserved it 3 195

By neveragain - 12/02/2016 19:10 - United Kingdom - Byfleet

Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 580

You deserved it 4 645

By Anonymous - 30/06/2015 07:51 - United States - Rochester

Today, the man that I have a crush on finally touched me. This would have been great, if not for the fact that it was to roll me on my side while I was having a seizure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 410

You deserved it 1 894

FML Uncensored

By Anonymous - 15/08/2017 06:00

Today, me and my boyfriend had sex but stopped when I felt pain downstairs. That evening he wanted me to go to the emergency room but I wanted to sleep it off. Turned out I needed surgery. One of my fallopian tubes had ripped. The sex was so rough, I got an intravenous hemorrhage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 587

You deserved it 875

By Anonymous - 12/04/2015 15:42 - Belgium

Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 509

You deserved it 2 885

By Rrae - 25/02/2019 02:00

Today, I'm at the ER for my first ever UTI and potential other "down there" issues. Yesterday I got married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 238

You deserved it 255

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By My Body Hates me - 30/07/2020 05:01

Today, I was diagnosed with a severe bladder infection that has left me in excruciating pain. A month ago, I had an ovarian cyst rupture. A few weeks before that, I badly sprained my elbow. Before that, I had the flu. I think my body is mutinying one organ system at a time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 632

You deserved it 137

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 06:03 - United States - Demorest

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 036

You deserved it 3 908

By fionna_fiamma - 12/12/2015 13:33 - Slovenia - Maribor

Today, my boyfriend came to my house for the first time. Today was also the day my body decided to throw up violently for four hours while he awkwardly sat beside me, waiting for his ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 486

You deserved it 1 638

RedRelish 9

Monday 27 July 2015 5:02

So blue balls?

AddictGamer 16

Monday 27 July 2015 5:04

She must've think you've gone nuts! In a serious note, hope she understands OP.

Comments

SquirrellyGirl 20

Monday 27 July 2015 17:44

Ouch! Hope you are okay and she is understanding!

skyline0392 8

Monday 27 July 2015 19:31

You went to the ER for blue balls?...

thatvendor 1

Monday 27 July 2015 20:01

well she must not of had the same feeling hope your nuts heal from that kick

mustangbravo 27

Monday 27 July 2015 20:06

**** blocked by your balls.

samlovesham1234 9

Monday 27 July 2015 20:34

Ouch. Was is torsion of the testicles?

Ruskiy_Cherep 18

Monday 27 July 2015 22:34

Follow up?

Cringey 18

Tuesday 28 July 2015 7:27

You must've been a little too excited to see her.

Jinxedluv 7

Tuesday 28 July 2015 9:56

Hahaha!

Jinxedluv 7

Tuesday 28 July 2015 9:39

I didn't kick kick him in the balls

tiredofwaiting 25

Tuesday 28 July 2015 21:00

Did she kick you in the nads or was it a medical problem? You should give us an update.

iateapenguin 27

Wednesday 29 July 2015 0:57

Can't decide whether FYL or YDI until I know whether she kicked you for being pervy or not...

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The Top

Today, I was having sexy time with my girlfriend when she said she needed to pee. She came back 5 minutes later and started talking about how she hasn't seen her best friend in ages and misses her. Needless to say, I couldn't get the man downstairs back up when we continued. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 077

You deserved it 186

Today, a customer threw a bottle of milk at me because we'd moved our smoke counter 6 months earlier during our renovations. Moved it five metres to the right that is. He marched out of the store, then marched back, grabbed the milk from my hands, threw $5 at me and then left again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 246

You deserved it 589

The Top

Today, a revolving door got the better of me. I made it into the crowded lobby, unlike my skirt. Bad day to wear a thong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 455

You deserved it 3 790

Today, I was helping my Dad pick up the pieces of bark that came off the tree that we'd just cut down. I bent over to grab a dark looking piece of bark. Turn out it was my dogs crap. Fresh, warm, moist piece of crap to be exact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 558

You deserved it 8 637

Today, I told my mom I was going swimming with friends. She told me, in front of them, not to go into the deep end unless there was an adult around because I'm not old enough to swim on my own. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 974

You deserved it 201

Today, I randomly bumped into the girl of my dreams, my high school sweetheart whom I lost 15 years ago when my parents decided to emigrate us. I couldn’t help myself, I went up to her hoping the old spark was still there. She was just as sweet now as she was then, just heavily pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 158

Today, I had to endure my father going on a sexist rant about how women shouldn't be allowed to go to university because it's "unrealistic" since "all women" become stay-at-home mums. This is the same man who threatened to kick me out if I dropped out of uni. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 607

You deserved it 2 889

Today, I fell asleep on the couch while babysitting. When the kids' parents came home, they made fake crying noises to see if I would wake up. I slept like a baby, and by the time they finally roused me, I'd left a nice drool stain on the armrest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 856

You deserved it 34 188

Same thing different taste

Wrong place, wrong time

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