Miscellaneous: Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with...

By Shamu - 14/02/2009 00:15 - United States

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 501

You deserved it 8 818

Summer vacations: Sun and blunders
From beaches to campsites, embark on a journey filled with laughter under the sun... and a few sunburns! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/04/2011 17:31 - United States

Today, sun was shining and I felt confident enough to go sunbathing at the beach. In only my bikini and towel, I laid out to get some sun. A while later, a little girl came up to me and said, "Aren't you embarrassed that you're so huge?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 529

You deserved it 11 266

By Noname - 06/03/2009 19:13 - United States

Today, I found out my four best friends are going to Florida for spring break without me. When asked why I was not invited to go with them the answer I received was, "we don't think you would look very good in a bathing suit, and we want to be able to pick up cute guys on the beach." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 664

You deserved it 6 442

By swmmr - 07/08/2011 19:41 - United States

Today, my dad suggested that as an alternative to buying me new school clothes that actually fit, I should just join the swim team, lose some weight, and wear my stuff from last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 462

You deserved it 14 101

Hey guys!

By iannie - 31/07/2011 21:45 - United States

Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 400

You deserved it 39 535

By ThatOneGirl646 - 12/01/2012 00:49 - United States

Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 891

You deserved it 49 537

Behave!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I told my mom I was going swimming with friends. She told me, in front of them, not to go into the deep end unless there was an adult around because I'm not old enough to swim on my own. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 363

You deserved it 277

By Anonymous - 26/06/2012 22:04 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, I was at the beach with my parents, and I went for a swim in the sea. I got out and my parents started laughing their asses off. It wasn't until my dad pulled a condom out of my hair that I realized what they were laughing at. My dad even took a picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 406

You deserved it 2 300

Looks

By Anonymous - 01/10/2019 06:00

Today, my mom and dad were talking about how if I lost weight, I would be attractive and have guys all over me. My dad said, “That’s exactly what I’m worried about.” It took me a while to realize they both think I’m ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 486

You deserved it 369

Supportive

By short&stout - 26/08/2017 20:00

Today, I took the kids to the pool. I'm short and 20lbs overweight but they talked me into it and I put on a swimsuit for the first time in 10 years. As soon as we got there, a girl my height but a good 150lbs heavier said, "It's so nice to see another big girl in a two-piece!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 276

You deserved it 732

By TheRawrza - 26/04/2009 09:47 - United States

Today, I was at a pool party. Standing outside of the pool, I was hesitant about taking my shirt off. A girl in the pool shouted, "Hey, you're not the only fat one here, don't feel bad!" I was worried about what my friends would think of my new bellybutton ring, I didn't think I'm fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 257

You deserved it 8 280

beerpong26 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 5:02

hahahahahahaha

wtf_fml 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 7:11

oh, gosh. dads are always so sensitive.

Comments

beerpong26 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 5:02

hahahahahahaha

ALEX920 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 18:17

agreed! hahaa

wtf_fml 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 7:11

oh, gosh. dads are always so sensitive.

suyci 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 17:00

first: HAHAHAHA EPIC! xD second: too bad for you, but you might aswell lose some weight?

Jeremy_M 2

Sunday 15 February 2009 0:20

Ouch, that was harsh.

Hacksaw 4

Sunday 15 February 2009 6:13

Your dad sounds awesome. Consider yourself lucky for having a parent with a healthy sense of humor.

Tygastyle 0

Monday 16 February 2009 5:39

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Thats the funniest ****** thing on here. your dad kicks ass.

lazorzpewpew 0

Monday 16 February 2009 17:55

TOO GOOD! :D Your dad rocks!

xdodge 0

Tuesday 17 February 2009 7:12

I'm sorry but thats hilarious

d_dh2310 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 8:31

haha your dad has a great sense of humor, and probably meant nothing at all by it :)

Addy_fml_fml 0

Friday 20 February 2009 6:44

Your dad sounds like my new best friend

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The Top

Today, I was on a first date and tried to playfully flick a fry at him. It missed, hit a waiter in the face, and he dropped an entire tray of drinks onto an elderly couple. My date laughed, then excused himself to the bathroom… and never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 611

Today, my dad learned that I sometimes waffle stomp in the shower if I wake up late. He built a shower stall outside and has threatened to kick me out if he ever finds me showering inside again. I get that it's kinda gross but this is a massive overreaction. What will I do in winter? FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 1 312

The Top

Today, my boyfriend is packing up his apartment and my parents have gone to a seminar, but I can’t complain about being lonely during the Easter holidays. I'm being kept company by a hundred industrious ants, a very loud cat, and an enthusiastic Aunt Flo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 647

You deserved it 155

Today, I took my best friend out to dinner for my birthday. She gave me a gift after I paid the tab saying, "my mom thought you would like this - it was expensive." It was a lovely set of origami paper, which was the exact set I brought her as a souvenir from Japan. She was right, it was expensive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 816

You deserved it 2 828

Today, my aunt informed me that my cousin's only problem with his girlfriend is that she's not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 428

You deserved it 161

Today, I told my mother-in-law that I was going through postpartum depression and was put on a antidepressant to help. Her response was, "Great, now we have a pill head in the family." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 128

Today, I spent five minutes shaking a bowl of Jello because it looked cool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 058

You deserved it 1 221

Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 986

You deserved it 6 090