Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML
Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
Today, the man that I have a crush on finally touched me. This would have been great, if not for the fact that it was to roll me on my side while I was having a seizure. FML
Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML
Today, I'm at the ER for my first ever UTI and potential other "down there" issues. Yesterday I got married. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with a severe bladder infection that has left me in excruciating pain. A month ago, I had an ovarian cyst rupture. A few weeks before that, I badly sprained my elbow. Before that, I had the flu. I think my body is mutinying one organ system at a time. FML
Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML
Today, my boyfriend came to my house for the first time. Today was also the day my body decided to throw up violently for four hours while he awkwardly sat beside me, waiting for his ride home. FML
Today, I went to the ER due to intense headaches. My partner was unable to go with me so he called his father to drive me. My father-in-law now knows that every time I orgasm my head feels like it will explode. He also knows that it happened 4 times last week. FML
Today, I came down hard on the top bar of my bike, and crunched my balls. I felt sick almost immediately, and by the time I got home I was still nauseous, tender, uncomfortable, and very relieved to finally be able to rest with an ice pack. FML
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Top comments
RedRelish 9
So blue balls?
AddictGamer 16
She must've think you've gone nuts! In a serious note, hope she understands OP.
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Comments (84)
Drentiful 9
Bruhhh, that sounds like blue balls. Lol you should have pushed through and ignored it.
shredder217 16
Lol God was like "No, not today"
XSPENZIVE 4
Torsion is never good. Got your balls in a knot.
ebolson1019 12
Did she kick you!?
suosi 21
Jinxedluv is the crush girl
Anastasiia Bogolepova 10
Blue balls?
GUYMAINE 16
This is so vague it's painful. You deserve whatever happened