Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML
Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
Today, the man that I have a crush on finally touched me. This would have been great, if not for the fact that it was to roll me on my side while I was having a seizure. FML
Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML
Today, I'm at the ER for my first ever UTI and potential other "down there" issues. Yesterday I got married. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with a severe bladder infection that has left me in excruciating pain. A month ago, I had an ovarian cyst rupture. A few weeks before that, I badly sprained my elbow. Before that, I had the flu. I think my body is mutinying one organ system at a time. FML
Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML
Today, my boyfriend came to my house for the first time. Today was also the day my body decided to throw up violently for four hours while he awkwardly sat beside me, waiting for his ride home. FML
Today, I went to the ER due to intense headaches. My partner was unable to go with me so he called his father to drive me. My father-in-law now knows that every time I orgasm my head feels like it will explode. He also knows that it happened 4 times last week. FML
Today, I came down hard on the top bar of my bike, and crunched my balls. I felt sick almost immediately, and by the time I got home I was still nauseous, tender, uncomfortable, and very relieved to finally be able to rest with an ice pack. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RedRelish 9
So blue balls?
AddictGamer 16
She must've think you've gone nuts! In a serious note, hope she understands OP.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (84)
gear4 29
might have been testicular torsion? I had it too,when the testicles twist around on each other. :x
firefighter72 9
I had a buddy had the same thing happen but he lost one.
gear4 29
yea it can get bad :/ I was fine though, still got all 3. I was told I got it early enough that it never got gangrenous so .. yea
MandieL 27
Are you Dr. evil? :p I was thinking hernia because that's what happened to my husband when he got his, his one ******** just hurt.
thedukutree123 24
Wow
Joseph24689 14
How convenient.
Big_Bear99 19
Dude. Suck it up. She is there. Wait till she leaves.
dolphinlvr7 24
Got a little too hard did you??
QuaDECH 13
She must be pretty cute if she can make your nuts go nuts.
Jinxedluv 7
Awww, you... :)
chaseafterwind82 29
Hell, what caused it?
TwoXMike 14
Cockblocked by your balls
alkoy 4
I think he made a move and she kicked him in the balls...
WOTAN1488 24
I have a feeling it was Epididymal Hypertension (can be quite uncomfortable). Look it up ;) and there's a natural remedy for this as well ;)
zfigs 0
Seriously, WTF?? What are you like a doctor now going around diagnosing people. Man you are one f'd up dude.
MidnaLink 35
Calm your ****, it's just a guess!