Today, the canine behaviour course I am studying released a new assignment in which I need to film myself teaching a dog a new trick. The only dog I have access to is my sister's neurotic, anxious Chihuahua who bites at any sudden noise. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I tried to teach my dog tricks. Somehow, I thought it would be easier if I physically showed my dog how to roll, so I rolled on the floor in front of my dog. My sister recorded me and posted it on Facebook. Now everyone thinks I'm an idiot and my dog still can't roll. FML
Today, I taught my dog to "give me his paw" as a cute trick. Now he won’t stop doing it. Anytime I try to eat, work, or sit down, I’m ambushed by a very proud dog pawing at my leg for treats. FML
Today, I had a phone interview for a better position at work. I've been training my puppy recently not to bark. I put on dog-calming videos while she was in the kennel. During the interview, my neighbor's dog started barking and my dog immediately responded back. My boss ended the interview. FML
Today, my school brought in therapy dogs to help with stress. I was attacked by one of them. FML
Today, my own dog bit me quite severely when I was in the middle of teaching a dog obedience class. Everyone had a good laugh at me and in the past few hours 4 of them have contacted me to let me know they won't be attending future lessons and that they'd like to get their money back. FML
Today, it seemed like my new boyfriend worked wonders training my puppy. Now she listens, doesn’t bark and doesn’t chew everything to bits anymore. I was very impressed, until my boyfriend told me beating a dog until it behaves works every time. My dog isn’t trained; she’s too terrified to move. FML
Today, while studying for an exam, the neighbor's chihuahua started barking outside. After a few seconds, my mom yelled out for me to stop laughing. She honestly thought the barking was my laughter. FML
Today, I bought a device that plays a high-pitched sound to teach my dog to quit barking. She's smart enough to learn that as long as she barks loud enough and long enough, she can't hear it. Quite the opposite effect to what I was anticipating. FML
Today, after a serious argument with my friend about how his dog seems to hate me for no reason, I decided that it's my responsibility to show his dog that I mean no harm. I started off by giving him his favorite treat. He got excited and practically inhaled it… then started barking at me again. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when I saw a cute dog. I reached down to pet it, but it snarled then bit me. As I was walking away, I saw the owner of the dog, who was laughing and filming the whole thing on his shitty cellphone. I hope the video isn't out there on TikTok or whatever. FML
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Top comments
Emmaray 16
Go volunteer at an animal shelter! That should work for the assignment, plus you'll be able to give a dog that doesn't get much attention some much needed love! :)
grajax 24
If you went to an animal shelter or something like that I'm sure you could arrange something.
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Comments (46)
thearronaut 10
I feel like you should have seen the need for a real dog coming, considering the course you're taking
Panman20 9
That dog should be pts, human aggression is not okay.
fantasyworld 39
I'm sure an animal shelter would allow you to borrow a dog for it.
candiedginger 9
Volunteer at a shelter. Then you have your choice of any dog you want and you are doing a gooddeed. Plus, teaching a dog a trick will make it more likely to get adopted.
kristincybulski 14
ugh, I hate Chihuahuas. My friend had five at one time and they all would bark non-stop over the stupidest things/sounds...
randybryant799 21
Why are you taking the course if you don't even have a dog.