Today, someone sent my boss a CD full of documents for an upcoming... - FML

By fucked five ways to friday - 3/1/2013 23:36 - United States - Stayton

Today, someone sent my boss a CD full of documents for an upcoming trial. It's my job to sort through the evidence, so he gave it to me. I looked on the CD. There's only one file; a 1020-page PDF of all the documents we need, and the pages weren't scanned in order. FML

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The cheek of some people

Social distancing gone wrong

Trip Advisor says no

By NathanPlays - 23/4/2011 01:39 - United States

Today, a very attractive girl moved in across the road from me. As I was leaving, I noticed she was looking out her window at me. I tried playing it cool, only to end up tripping over my own feet, hands in pocket, and faceplanting the hood of my dad's car. FML

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By blahdyblahblah33 - 3/7/2011 00:22 - United States

Today, I was rushed to the emergency room. Apparently, there is only one serious side effect of getting your tonsils out when you're an adult, which is only seen in about 1% of patients: bleeding of the throat. It can be deadly. I'm part of that 1%. FML

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By whyarewerelated - 8/9/2011 15:41 - United Kingdom

Today, I was working alone in the office with my brother. He's run out of work to do, so has been singing Disney songs loudly and badly, throwing stationery at me, and just now snuck up on me from behind and wrapped duct tape round my face. It's just us in the office next week. FML

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By gamerguru13 - 21/4/2013 12:26 - United States - New York

Today, my grandmother tried to upstage me at my wedding by wearing an actual wedding dress because she "never had a real wedding". FML

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By Anna - 2/12/2012 08:03 - United States - Monroe

Today, my guy friend kept complaining that no one had asked him to the dance, so he probably wasn't going to go. I suggested that we go together. He laughed until his face was bright red and said, "I don't think I'll ever get that desperate." FML

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By toughbf - 27/9/2011 08:28 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend asked me to beat him up so he could look tough around his friends. When I just stared at him, he added, "Please don't break anything though. Nothing too serious." FML

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By Oh - 22/3/2016 22:36 - United States - Winterville

Today, I wrote my girlfriend a song. She wrote me a 13-page letter on why we should break up. FML

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By thatsillegal - 30/1/2009 22:57 - United States

Today, I found out that my assistant is now my manager. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/6/2017 20:00

Today, my mom told me I couldn't be best man at my best friend's wedding. I'm 25. FML

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By keeperstride - 3/9/2009 19:55 - United States

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with a blood infection, swollen nuts, and an hole in my butt where I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/1/2011 02:53 - United States

Today, I got my phone fixed and the lady who was working on it somehow resent all the old text messages in my outbox. One was to my ex saying "I love you." FML

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By Anonymous - 13/5/2013 21:17 - United States - Euless

Today, I lost my patience and asked the deadbeat I loaned money to last year to please pay up. His response: "Blow me." No thanks, dad. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/11/2010 06:34 - Netherlands

Today, I came home sick. After a while I received a text message. I thought it was a sweet 'how are you baby?' from my boyfriend. It wasn't. He sent: 'Hey, I'm going to work now. Please do not disturb. Thank you!' FML

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By notcool - 15/9/2009 19:45 - United States

Today, I learned that my anxious and obsessive mother is going to drive three hours every weekend to attend a Johns Hopkins medical course on stress reduction. Why is this bad? I just left home for college and have enjoyed my last two weeks of freedom without her around. I attend Johns Hopkins. FML

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By Joy - 16/6/2010 14:42 - Denmark

Today, we had guests coming over. My dad wanted me to make some bacon, but I refused because I'm a vegetarian, and don't like to touch meat. His response? 'Good joke honey, now make the bacon.' FML

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By Anonymous - 12/10/2017 20:00

Today, my mom borrowed my computer without my permission and downloaded a virus. I came home to a blue screen of death. She refuses to admit fault and pay for a new computer. FML

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By Mika_Ookami - 21/2/2010 17:54 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. A pretty redhead came on the screen. One of my guy friends leaned over to me and said, "Have you noticed there aren't any pretty redheads in real life?" I guess he forgot what color my hair is. FML

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By BlakeVB - 25/5/2019 14:18

Today, the girl that I had a crush on for over a year, from whom I recently moved on from, told me that she likes me. I’m dating a new girl. FML

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By knife knife - 20/9/2016 00:38 - United Kingdom - Dalkeith

Today, I ate out, even though I was tired. When my main course arrived, I realised I had sent both my forks away with the starter plate. Rather than say anything, I ate dinner with two knives. FML

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By blah56 - 23/6/2012 05:17 - United States - Vine Grove

Today, my husband put some photos of our wedding on Facebook. He named the album "FML". FML

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By Anonymous - 19/10/2019 20:00

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Today, my mom told me my aunt was coming over. I told her I might have to work, and would be sad to miss her. My mom said, "Or, you know, if you're not there, it might be nice." FML

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By Sad_Happy_Gorl - 15/12/2018 23:00 - United States - University Center

Today, I found out my boyfriend has to picture someone else when we have sex. The most recent: my roommate. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/8/2012 16:45 - United States - Lititz

Today, after months of job searching, I finally got a call about one of my applications. I wasn't able to answer it, but he left a voicemail. I've listened to it over and over, and I can't understand the contact information. He called from a restricted number. FML

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By DefinitelyNotMyMeds - 22/2/2019 20:00 - Canada

Today, just like everyday, I opened my med box, took out a blister pack and took one of the pills before putting the pack back in the box. Today, not like everyday, I had diarrhea. Turns out one of the packs was laxatives put in my med box by my boyfriend because they looked the same as my meds. FML

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By potassiumgirl - 11/4/2012 19:53 - United States - Hollywood

Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML

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By Clumsy - 8/9/2016 12:06 - United States - Millville

Today, I was working out with the guy I like when he spilled his water bottle. I went to clean up the spill, bashed my face into the weight bar, which broke my nose. FML

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By Wounded_irony - 5/12/2017 05:00

Today, I was wearing flip flops whilst putting out the trash, and was careful not to step near the broken glass surrounding the trash cans. My mother ran up to me hysterically warning me about the glass, which startled me and caused me to step on a shard, slicing my foot open. FML

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By seb21 - 9/2/2009 02:32 - United States

Today, I called my dad to inform him I was coming home from college for the weekend. Expecting him to be excited, he responded with "why?" This weekend was my birthday. FML

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By SantaClaus - 2/11/2013 04:19 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my 8-year-old came home from school crying. Apparently her teacher told the whole class to write about how they felt when they learned that Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy weren't real. FML

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By thelarkscaw - 15/6/2009 03:37 - United States

Today, I thought I saw a woodchuck far out in my yard. I wanted to take a cool picture of it so I slowly crept closer and closer to it. I spent half an hour sneaking up on a log. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/3/2017 14:00

Today, my not-quite-potty-trained toddler niece had a 'wee accident' in my bed. I used towels to mop it up and changed the sheets. Later, I had the bright idea to dry it faster by turning the electric blanket on high. Now my room smells like burned urine. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/2/2012 04:45 - United States

Today, I was informed that my boyfriend's mother would be joining us on our Valentine's dinner. I'm not sure if this momma's boy thing is going to work out. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/4/2016 17:11 - United States - Ames

Today, the highlight of my whole month was finally being able to take a solid crap. FML

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By ick - 31/7/2010 01:44 - United States

Today, I was repainting the walls in my room. While painting, I noticed a dark spot on the wall that wouldn't seem to go away no matter how much paint I put on it. A bucket of paint and hours later, I realized that "dark spot" was a shadow. FML

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By nraecher - 23/3/2013 04:43 - Canada - Ajax

Today, while making love to my boyfriend for the first time, I moaned his name. He freaked out over how I wasn't over my ex, and angrily left. They have the same name. FML

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By driverman12 - 4/4/2009 19:42 - United States

Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML

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By creepyguy - 26/12/2009 12:06 - Australia

Today, I noticed a girl looking at me on the train. Playing it cool, I decided to give her a smile and see what would happen. It came out as a creepy, seedy grin, prompting her to call security. FML

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By thegreatcometofawayhamilton - 20/10/2017 01:48

Today, I twisted my ankle and fractured my wrist while dancing. I audition for a performing arts school in one week. FML

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By in pain - 15/3/2011 22:57

Today, I got into a bad car accident, where I got severe whiplash, swollen knees, and cuts everywhere. I called my boss to let him know I wouldn't be able to make it in and he fired me for being 'not dependable'. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/4/2020 05:00

Fixed

Today, my husband, who repairs appliances for a living, repaired our dryer. One lot of wet clothes later, it caught fire and ruined the laundry room. FML

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Top comments

By bidon121 | 9

#5307749 - Friday 4 January 2013 3:26

Oops...I guess you are going to have to do your job!

By andyyroxx | 20

#5307786 - Friday 4 January 2013 3:37

What the actual fuck did you comment for...

COMMENTS

By bidon121 | 9

#5307749 - Friday 4 January 2013 3:26

Oops...I guess you are going to have to do your job!

Reply

tjv3 | 10

#5307979 - Friday 4 January 2013 5:29

Well you will earn your money on that . Good luck

Reply

CCSA | 12

#5308050 - Friday 4 January 2013 6:45

And a pretty high paying job too, so I guess it will be less of a pain when OP thinks about the money he'll get for every billable hour sorting the evidence out

Reply

sens3sfailing | 24

#5308281 - Friday 4 January 2013 10:37

Look at it this way, all of the documents you need are there. I was honestly expecting there to porn or something instead of some of the documents.

By djinnsnme | 19

#5307753 - Friday 4 January 2013 3:27

Have fun with that.

Reply

SirCharles83 | 13

#5307932 - Friday 4 January 2013 4:50

This sounds like a job for interns. Tell them to have fun with that.

Reply

klutz44 | 28

#5309825 - Saturday 5 January 2013 14:48

Maybe OP is the intern.

Reply

billyz77 | 24

#5312826 - Monday 7 January 2013 14:55

Hard to have fun when someone tells you to have fun. Sooooooo…..… Work hard, OP.

By ramseytt69 | 8

#5307756 - Friday 4 January 2013 3:28

Well atleast you have everything you need.. But fyl for having to sort through all that!

By WcED | 8

#5307759 - Friday 4 January 2013 3:29

That really sucks

Reply

tj5810 | 21

#5308222 - Friday 4 January 2013 9:49

Obviously. OP didn't post this on MyLifesAwesome.

Reply

Catkam623 | 27

#5313049 - Monday 7 January 2013 18:00

If that was a site I'm betting Barney Stinson would own it.

Reply

WcED | 8

#5313943 - Tuesday 8 January 2013 8:22

#80....you're trying too hard.

By aly_pinay22 | 8

#5307761 - Friday 4 January 2013 3:30

FYL but there are worse jobs out there.

Reply

amillionbucks | 5

#5307827 - Friday 4 January 2013 3:54

He'll be wishin for those jobs after this assignment

Reply

Miss_Attitude96 | 24

#5307895 - Friday 4 January 2013 4:30

Yeah #5, he could have one of the jobs from Dirty Jobs.. Like the one that had to stick their arm up a horse's butt to get poop samples (shudders)

Reply

calivianya | 29

#5308034 - Friday 4 January 2013 6:29

Sticking my arm up a horse's butt for poop samples actually sounds better than my job. I'll take it!

Reply

bwhahaha_fml | 10

#5308107 - Friday 4 January 2013 7:47

Indeed I hate writing the dam terms and conditions that no one reads :(

By AliSama | 17

#5307762 - Friday 4 January 2013 3:31

you can save all the pages as files. worst case you need to rename them as you see them. There may be a technological solution as well. google it. with ocr etc.

By Cupcake040 | 17

#5307768 - Friday 4 January 2013 3:32

You could be working at McDonalds but FYL for how annoying that must be

Reply

man_in_black08 | 28

#5307999 - Friday 4 January 2013 5:51

Hello :) i look upto ppl studying history!

Reply

Roevera | 14

#5308120 - Friday 4 January 2013 8:01

Damn, your duck face puts ducks to shame!

Reply

gc327072 | 29

#5308585 - Friday 4 January 2013 17:08

^Then you haven't seen very many.

Reply

TheStormsFury | 8

#5309520 - Saturday 5 January 2013 7:57

That doesn't even look like a duck-face.

By lhamil64_fml | 5

#5307772 - Friday 4 January 2013 3:33

If you have a PDF printer installed (like CutePDF) or are on a Mac (which has it built in) you can take note of the pages that are of each document and print those specific pages to a new PDF.

Reply

cristy91 | 33

#5308019 - Friday 4 January 2013 6:15

It's still a lot of work, plus with PDFs of that size, the program runs slow (at least with my experience). CutePDF is great, though. It allows you to really work the document and for free too!

By Homer1975 | 14

#5307778 - Friday 4 January 2013 3:35

I was quit my job since September 2012,Because my boss is a asshole.

Reply

andyyroxx | 20

#5307786 - Friday 4 January 2013 3:37

What the actual fuck did you comment for...

Reply

lilhellian | 26

#5307796 - Friday 4 January 2013 3:39

Dat grammer. Also, I'm sure Op doesn't want to quit his job. Op is aware of the job description, but this is excessive..

Reply

poccocurantes | 7

#5307815 - Friday 4 January 2013 3:48

I am guessing to reply to OPs FML. And your reason is?

Reply

Livelife121 | 30

#5307849 - Friday 4 January 2013 4:03

Plausible translations:
1. I decided to quit my job in September 2012, because my boss was an asshole.
2. I have been wanting to quit my job since September 2012 because my boss is an asshole.

Reply

Enslaved | 36

#5308004 - Friday 4 January 2013 5:57

Give the guy a break. I doubt English is his first language. At least he's got the curse words down.

Reply

MrPlopper | 9

#5308179 - Friday 4 January 2013 9:05

Hello troll, how are you?

By zombieslayer83 | 19

#5307782 - Friday 4 January 2013 3:36

Overtime!