I’m so, so sorry about all of this. No one deserves to be in an abusive situation, and you sure as heck don’t deserve to be in a place where you have to choose between telling the truth and risking backlash or keeping quiet and needing to pretend everything was fine. Know that this internet stranger is sending you all the warm hugs you’d want, and that I hope for you to find happiness in the future.

Be the better person and don't spoil others memory. You will feel better in the long run. If you are struggling with it get some therapy.

You might want to consider this a bit more. Are you sure that she was a "piece of shit" or was she just a desperate person who was not able to communicate her problems and the "being abusive" was just a side effect of her dealing with problems, real or perceived? Suicide is not common with people who treat the world around them badly because they don't care or feel superior. Of course, that would mean that when looking at yourself, you should ask yourself how you missed something big like this if she really was your girlfriend. Or, if she really was "an abusive piece of shit", are you sure it was suicide?

You're lucky she didn't take you out before making her final exit. One of you dodged a bullet.

This is a hard FML, because while it’s terrible what happened to her, it’s also terrible what happened to you. I would seek a lot of therapy and counseling from a therapist you don’t personally know so that you can vent to a stranger and get an objective perspective on the situation, and take advantage of both grief and abuse counseling. As for family and friends etc. there’s nothing wrong with politely telling them you don’t want to discuss it now until you sort your feelings out. That way they’ll give you your personal space while you deal with everything’s that’s gone on. There’s no need to tell them for the time being, or ever unless it becomes relevant.

This is why I find it a total B.S. regarding the taboo of speaking ill of the dead. OP, I feel for you, it sucks, but if she was a total piece of shit, you should be able to say it. The family needs to know the monster of a person your deceased GF was if you really were a victim, and if they can’t accept that, it’ll be better to completely cut ties with them. Secondly, like many others have suggested, therapy. 100% you need it. You don’t have to feel bad about your GF being dead, but you will go through the stages of grief, maybe not for her, but for you that lost any time and effort on a relationship that you won’t get back or see the fruits of. It’s a period we all experience during losses of major parts of our life, and while you won’t systematically go through all stages (or may never hit acceptance) don’t suffer silently. It’ll only make thing much worse for you. Don’t feel bad if you don’t feel bad. My grandpa was a complete piece of shit. I hated being pallbearer to carry his dead ass to the grave, but because we made known what a complete piece of shit he was, several people in our family realized many suffered in silence from acts they never knew happened before. Good luck! I’m really wishing you a happy future, and hope your next SO will make you indescribably happy!

Man this is a tough one. I think when people die, it is our (collective) nature to mourn or show sympathy in a respectful manner. I know plenty of folks who passed, and were not the best citizens, but at the end of the day it was someone's son, mom, dad, etc.. and people are hurting. I also think most folks are just not sure what to say, but want to show feelings for those who may be hurting. It was your girlfriend so of course people are going to assume this is a heavy blow to you. And if she was so low (ie depressed) then maybe you are too, and I am sure the last thing they want is for you to go the same path. So you get the empathy. In closing, nobody knows what you are going through without you telling them. No one likes to assume but in this case you would assume the partner is in pain from the events. Maybe this is your way of getting it off your chest. Good job. Maybe you should find a friend to confide all of this too. Or maybe seek a therapist that can help you through this. Good luck OP

Meh, if they've lived in Make Believe this far, I'd let them assume I was mourning and wait for it to blow over. Of course, trauma counseling for the abuse might be in order.