Today, my younger brother sat on some poison ivy. He didn't have any symptoms because he's pretty much immune to it. Also today, my boyfriend had to run to the ER because he got poison ivy on his genitalia. I knew they spent way too much time together. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up with a rash all across my body. Last night, my boyfriend and I got it on in some bushes, and it seems one of those was poison ivy. FML
Today, I took a piss while doing yard work. Later, to my horror, I discovered that I had touched poison oak at some point. My penis is now blistered and swollen. FML
Today, I caught my 29 year-old brother-in-law scratching his poison ivy with a handful of forks before putting them back in the drawer. I called him on it and he huffed, "You've never said anything before." FML
Today, my idiot neighbor decided the best way to dispose of the poison ivy in his yard was to pile it all up and burn it. I'm severely allergic. It was so bad that one of my eyes is still swollen half shut. FML
Today, months after a severe poison ivy rash, I have learned that I now have a very intense poison ivy allergy. As in, any exposure to poison ivy at all will cause my face, hands, thighs, and groin to swell up and itch madly for up to a week. FML
Today, my girlfriend won't stop complaining about the recent lack of intimacy in our relationship. There's an easy solution to this problem, but I'm currently covered in poison ivy rashes and she refuses to let me touch her until they clear up. Guess I'd better get used to itching and whining. FML
Today, I was rushed to the emergency room for severe facial rashes. My boyfriend and I then found out I'm allergic to seminal fluid. FML
Today, my brother gave me a massive rope burn. He got a 30-second talk with our mother. I got an allergic reaction to the lotion used to ease the pain. My mother said I was overreacting. FML
Today, I came home after being stuck in traffic needing to pee really badly. When I went to the bathroom, my boyfriend was on the toilet. I couldn't hold it longer, so I went into the woods behind our house and found a bush. Relieving myself, my butt started to itch. I was sitting in Poison Ivy. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home drunk and thought it would be funny to spray himself in the face with pepper spray. I was in his drunken firing line too. After him vomiting and being blinded for a few hours, he was fine. I, on the other hand, had a terrible allergic reaction and got rushed to hospital. FML
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Top comments
Jerry Leberer 12
at least you found out now before you got it somewhere.
tounces7 28
I mean....how? Did your brother sit on it completely bare-assed or something? I mean was he wiping with it too? I'm failing to understand the mechanics of this.
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Comments (18)
mattyiscool123 26
Wait how do you get immune to poison ivy?
clair_brodie 35
Some people just have antibodies that makes it so some things are not poisonous to them.
fabs1171 23
It’s an allergic response and not everyone will be allergic to it
dedanjel 33
I'm immune to poison ivy, oak, and sumac. My mom, too. It's genetics
fabs1171 23
That’s ok OP. You boyfriend may have been answering a call of nature and happened upon the poison ivy - since the allergic response can start within a few hours or it can take a few days - it looks like you’ve given him the benefit of the doubt that his exposure wasn’t at the same time as your brother since you didn’t label him your ex boyfriend
merican_redneck4 11
They could have just used the same toilet