Today, my wife read a Facebook article about how oral sex can...

By Anonymous - 22/08/2019 04:00

Today, my wife read a Facebook article about how oral sex can lead to mouth and/or throat infections, and is now avoiding all forms of sex, in case my penis happens to give her the bubonic plague. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 250

You deserved it 236

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/12/2013 21:06 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 064

You deserved it 11 006

Feelin' sexy

By Anonymous - 23/05/2020 20:00

Today, my wife, who NEVER wants to have sex, decided that now is the time. I, of course, had to take antibiotics that make me so bloated I can’t move without extreme pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 647

You deserved it 148

Quick thinking

By rolyat - 01/05/2012 16:41 - United States - Rochester

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 708

You deserved it 3 999

By cockblockedbyFB - 06/06/2015 13:01 - United States - San Antonio

Today, like every other day, my wife doesn't have time for sex because she's too busy on Facebook. Then she bitched me out because "we never have sex anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 873

You deserved it 3 121

In the doghouse

By Anonymous - 22/11/2021 11:01

Today, in the middle of oral sex, I got a cramp in my tongue. Yes, it's a thing that can happen. My wife didn’t believe me, and since I’d already gotten a blowjob from her, she accused me of being lazy, selfish and no good at sex. This led to a huge argument and I’m now sleeping in my truck outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 644

You deserved it 323

By James - 05/11/2009 16:38 - United States

Today, before having morning sex, my girlfriend for over a year whispers to me "Do that thing you did at the Halloween party". There was no morning sex as I reminded her that I was sick with the flu then and didn't go with her to the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 117

You deserved it 2 811

Frustration

By Anonymous - 11/05/2020 08:00

Today, my wife is still refusing all forms of sex, because she thinks if she gets pregnant during lockdown, she’ll be the butt of all her friends' jokes about what people get up to to relieve the lockdown boredom. I know what I’d like to be getting up to right now to relieve my boredom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 027

You deserved it 341

By sexisdead - 31/07/2016 17:16

Today, my wife discovered Cosmopolitan magazine, and now only wants to have sex if I agree to try some of their sex tips. I fear for my genitals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 992

You deserved it 1 871

By STIdiot - 17/10/2011 12:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend's jaw was swollen due to him not taking care of a cracked tooth. He's convinced it was actually caused by an STD, and accused me of giving it to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 721

You deserved it 3 678

By Anonymous - 27/06/2013 16:58 - Finland - Nykarleby

Today, I was diagnosed with strep throat. My mom wasted no time accusing me of whoring around and claiming that most people get strep from performing oral sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 225

You deserved it 3 374

jojimugo 20

Thursday 22 August 2019 5:37

You’re ******

jbuckets_404 38

Thursday 22 August 2019 8:35

Until you're not....

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 22 August 2019 4:21

So, she mistakes your dick for an oriental rat flea? So, sorry, bro!

jojimugo 20

Thursday 22 August 2019 5:37

You’re ******

jbuckets_404 38

Thursday 22 August 2019 8:35

Until you're not....

Cat Michele Davila 3

Thursday 22 August 2019 18:17

Do you watch ****? Together? Watch a hot girl give a man head and see how fast your jealous wife will drop to her knees. You're welcome.

Seeya55 31

Thursday 22 August 2019 20:14

This can and will most likely backfire. Please don't resort to making each other jealous, it leads to anger and fear in a relationship. Why do people constantly give this as advice? They both need to go to a REAL doctor together or do real research to get more than "FB facts". We've been procreating and giving/receiving oral for as long as mankind existed. Unfortunately OP's wife fell for some sort of fake scare tactic and OP needs to help his wife see the truth, no matter how embarrassing it may be to ask.