Intimacy: Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't...

By Anonymous - 06/07/2011 23:35 - Canada

Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 830

You deserved it 12 470

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Same thing different taste

By Andrew - 20/04/2011 16:31 - United States

Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 430

You deserved it 11 758

Just can't get enough

By Anonymous - 13/02/2023 06:00

Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 323

You deserved it 245

By baron - 01/06/2009 17:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131 737

You deserved it 7 583

By doomed - 22/08/2009 17:46 - United States

Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 506

You deserved it 6 713

In this economy?

By Anonymous - 30/05/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the good news is that my girlfriend is pregnant. The bad news is that twins run in her family. Worse, so do triplets, and I just recently lost my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 187

By Bouh - 27/12/2012 04:04 - France - Paris

Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 300

You deserved it 9 324

By rj - 12/05/2012 14:42 - United States - Goddard

Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 602

You deserved it 5 839

By loving wife - 21/04/2013 10:20 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 389

You deserved it 7 633

By bablessinbedsty - 05/05/2017 14:45

Today, I announced to my fiance that I was pregnant with twins. He immediately called off the engagement, furious at me because we "agreed to only have one child". Sorry my embryo decided to split in two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 461

You deserved it 642

By Marcella - 24/10/2009 04:49 - United States

Today, my fiance told me he thought it was time that we started to see other people. I'm six months pregnant with his baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 603

You deserved it 4 468

Thabb 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 5:14

Ehhh, your hand isn't THAT bad.

ADayToPierceTheV 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 5:11

sounds reasonable

Comments

BBYgirl_22 3

Thursday 7 July 2011 9:54

and you're married to this girl??? ydi!

Deadnurse90 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 9:58

If she was a few days into the pregnancy it could be very possible to have twins. However, if she is in a few weeks to a month pregnant it's highly doubtful.

iChel413 6

Thursday 7 July 2011 10:05

lol. just talk to her and explain how that couldn't happen.

StealthyChicken 2

Thursday 7 July 2011 10:11

well maybe she should get an abortion, because anyone that stupid doesn't need to reproduce.

badluckattack238 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 11:02

your mom still had you, didn't she?

AunteyN 4

Thursday 7 July 2011 10:26

.....it doesn't work that way your wife fails

BetterLegs 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 10:28

areyouserious.jpg

izzy7 11

Thursday 7 July 2011 10:45

I feel sorry for your child. No one deserves to inherit that kind of stupidity.

Ugi 26

Thursday 7 July 2011 10:52

You married this woman and you expect sympathy? If you have a thing for dribbling imbeciles then that' s the risk you run.

badluckattack238 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 10:53

you can get pregnant with twins if you have sex with her during a certain amount of time. I believe it's a week or so. it's definitely not the whole pregnancy though.