Miscellaneous: Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister... - FML

By Anonymous - 13/09/2009 09:27 - United States

Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 559

You deserved it 50

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

MaximumRide 0

Sunday 13 September 2009 16:18

Get a new family.

narks 0

Sunday 13 September 2009 16:21

Poor thing, this is a real FML =/

Comments

sugar_407 0

Sunday 13 September 2009 23:33

This is literally the first time I have read an FML in the past 4 months that has made me crack up. fyl indeed

LyricalChaos 0

Sunday 13 September 2009 23:47

Sorry about your fam...this is one of the few fml's out there that's actually an fml. I lost it at the 'who's your daddy' part though XD

phuresh2death 0

Monday 14 September 2009 0:04

ah this had me to tears from laughing lol whos your daddy!

silent_singer 0

Monday 14 September 2009 0:10

I moderated this one!

bobbysnickers 0

Monday 14 September 2009 0:26

FAKE you sister just sits there 'completely stoned' and your mother is fine and doesnt do a thing about it? your dad is yelling at ribs he is eating? this seems more like a joke than a FML

aiezaiza 0

Monday 14 September 2009 1:21

I lol'd at the Dad part

loosekites 0

Monday 14 September 2009 1:44

FML sucks so much now?

mysterystar 0

Monday 14 September 2009 1:52

haha ydi for having an awesome family

jcommie 0

Monday 14 September 2009 2:20

Sounds more like a F your Mom's Life.

Mr_Tuff_Guy 0

Monday 14 September 2009 2:38

Family Counseling maybe?

5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Roommate Music Singing TV shows Dogs Animals Relatable Sports Weird Love Cheating AITA Death Awkward Annoying Family Health Doctor Capitalism Money Work Drunk Concert Friends Coworkers Pranks Sextoys Intimacy

The Top

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend when we came across the most beautiful piece of Japanese furniture. When I inspected it closely, my boyfriend started laughing. Turns out I was making the same noise I make when I orgasm in reaction to a piece of furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 910

You deserved it 4 868

Today, a neighbour called to say my water tank burst. A colleague followed me home to help, took off his shirt so it wouldn't get wet, and climbed through my window to get to the roof. My boyfriend unexpectedly came home as we were emerging from the bedroom. My colleague was still buttoning his shirt up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 607

You deserved it 6 283

The Top

Today, I learned the venue owner and producer for the musical I'm in is under criminal investigation. What for? Three separate sexual assault incidents and putting cameras in our dressing rooms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 603

You deserved it 322

Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 403

You deserved it 22 005

Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 327

You deserved it 43 593

Today, I got mugged. But luckily I had on my keyring the pepper spray that my husband had insisted I keep with me. Unlucky for me, my husband's co-worker, who borrowed my keys, emptied my pepper by spraying it on a brick wall one day when he was bored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 393

You deserved it 3 109

Today, as a reward for starting to eating healthy, I got the squits at work. After going to the restroom, my stall didn't have toilet paper, the other two stalls didn't have any either. My boss definitely noticed too when he walked in on me with my pants around my ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 700

You deserved it 1 743

Today, wanting to be on time for my first job interview, I woke up at the crack of dawn and walked almost an hour through a thunderstorm. When I arrived, I was told that the manager wasn't in today, because of the bad weather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 938

You deserved it 2 005