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By  bluejello2001  |  17

Have you actually, you know, talked to your partner about this situation?
Is this new? Has something major happened/changed in their life (parent's death, depression, change of medication)? Do they have a natural low sex drive? Or maybe just figuring out that they're asexual or don't enjoy sex?
Yeah, I'm sure it sucks that you aren't getting laid. But maybe you should try not to make it about you, and figure out what's going on with your spouse.

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  Sinshine  |  27

Either op is gay and (wrongfully) thinks this is a smart way to not suggest it or it's one of those ridiculous tumblr things where people make up nonsensical pronouns and op's spouse wants to be 'they/them'.

By  davidfong  |  14

When your horny you should start locking up his video games until he pleasures you. This way when your need are filled then he can do whatever he want after.
But yes if this a recurring issue it might be time for a divorce

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It’s becoming singular now. We’ve had discussions about it in my college English classes. Even in an academic paper, you can use “they” if you don’t want to use a specific gender, even for singular.

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  samomaha  |  17

Ainarr and Raven are correct. "They" as a singular pronuon has been around for over 700 years, and follows the same development as "you" as a singular pronuon. ("You" was plural only back in olde Englische.) But get ready for more change - it is now being used to reference non-binary genered people who idenitfy as neither male nor female., as in, "This is Pat. I met them at work."

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  Ainarr  |  29

The only people who complain about the singular “they” are the closed-minded ones who want to get mad at people who identify as non-binary.

It really HAS been around for hundreds of years, and appears even in Emily Dickinson’s work.

People are just haters who cry about change.

By  bluejello2001  |  17

Have you actually, you know, talked to your partner about this situation?
Is this new? Has something major happened/changed in their life (parent's death, depression, change of medication)? Do they have a natural low sex drive? Or maybe just figuring out that they're asexual or don't enjoy sex?
Yeah, I'm sure it sucks that you aren't getting laid. But maybe you should try not to make it about you, and figure out what's going on with your spouse.

By  Chazzster  |  20

OP - There are three possible causes: Either your spouse is not getting pleasured (for real, not just acting) with yours and her lovemaking, or she is just not in the mood very often for sex, or she is just not into sex with you. I strongly recommend the book “Sex for Dummies” - It’s a real book available in the self help or sexuality section of the bookstore.

Step one is to discuss this with your spouse at a time you are both calm and not upset. Listen to what she has to say. If she is not getting much out of sex she is not going to want it very often - Or if she is upset then likewise she will be uninterested in sex.

I confess to being on marriage #3. (That is nothing to be proud of.) Women are somewhat similar to men in sexuality but also different. Porn is completely unrealistic in how most of it depicts the speed of a woman’s response, but if you learn or figure out what fantasies your spouse is into it can help her to become aroused. Women generally have more emotional needs than men, It’s not “slam bam thank you mam”. And women need significant, prolonged stimulation to the clitoris to reach orgasm - which standard in and out sex does not usually provide. But that stimulation depends on the individual - Some need more clitoral stimulation, but with others direct stimulation is too much. You have to learn to read your wife or she has to tell you what works for her and what does not. There are physical “tells” to a woman’s degree of arousal - Stage one, she breathes a little heavier, Stage two, her clit is erect and her inner labia are swollen, Stage three, her vagina is warmer - She is close then.

Personally what works in my marriage is that I use oral stimulation once she is mentally in the mood and combine that with a small “massager” until she orgasms. (I use an unflavored, unscented lube, by the way. It’s best if you warm it up beforehand.) Then we get around to me or our activity.

By making sex pleasurable for your partner, she is more likely to be in the mood. Get the damm book and read it. I bought it for my son when he was a late teen and I also read it.

If none of this helps and you wife does not have a medical condition, then you should consider marriage counseling and go from there.