Family, Dogs and Animals: Today, my sister went into early labor. Instead of telling me,...

By bigscarypuppy - 22/08/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, my sister went into early labor. Instead of telling me, my mom turned to my dog and said, "Guess what? You're going to be an uncle!" Our dog ranks higher than me in our family's metaphorical food chain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 595

You deserved it 3 244

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Second class citizen

By crapped on - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, who said she was too busy to talk to me. When my sister asked her who was on the phone, she replied, "The dog sitter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 547

You deserved it 4 255

By uninvited - 04/02/2016 15:16 - United States - Boston

Today, my parents called me to ask if I could drop my dog off to them on Sunday. They're having a Superbowl party and want to show her off to their guests. My dog is invited, but I'm not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 253

You deserved it 1 747

Judgemental

By ugly - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my sister told me not to come over anymore because her baby is scared of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 397

You deserved it 4 531

By confsused - 16/12/2013 17:49 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 941

You deserved it 3 372

Not the smartest

By ugh Buck! - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 465

You deserved it 4 540

By thatonekid - 27/07/2009 23:10 - United States

Today, my best friend told me she was pregnant over the phone. While in the middle of telling her congrats, she told me it was with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 475

You deserved it 3 545

Caturday surprise!

By Cats...FML - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, it's my sister's birthday. My parents got her a cat. I have serious allergies when it comes to cats. When I brought this issue up with my parents, they replied, "This day is not about you, it's about your sister." I can feel my throat tightening already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 595

You deserved it 3 417

Tasty

By chew toy - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, I went to see my sister and took a couple of dog biscuits for her dog. I forgot about them until later when I realised I had a hole in my pocket, near my crotch. The dog pointed this out by chomping my balls to get to the biscuits. My attempts to remove him resulted in more vigorous chewing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 539

You deserved it 927

Instant cure

By Username - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 572

You deserved it 4 941

Bad boy

By MikeIsMaster - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - South Africa

Today, I invited my boss for supper as we get on pretty well. Everything was going well, until my German Shepherd bit him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 575

You deserved it 5 350

aback 4

Saturday 22 August 2009 12:22

At least she didn't tell it it was going to be a daddy.

SweetieLish 0

Saturday 22 August 2009 13:58

Is it just me, or is there quite a few of the "My parents like the dog/cat/animal more than me" FMLs on this site?

Comments

anmo 4

Thursday 4 August 2011 6:02

Omg I know ppl that do that .. Really dogs are more important than u?? Smh

gavvvincharlie 0

Thursday 10 November 2011 0:24

Sucks

droptableusers 7

Friday 19 April 2013 21:52

Food chain, huh? Guess the dog is your natural predator and its bound to eat you some time.

Keywords

Music Boredom Transportation Annoying Embarrassing Awkward Cars Family Babysitter Relatable Kids Thief Money Miscellaneous Food Farts Gross Health Depression Mental health Weird Creepy AITA Pregnancy Star Wars Social Media Facebook Wanker Work Bodyshaming

The Top

Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest, ugliest man at the table looked me over then stared at my chest. He then started to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 229

You deserved it 6 619

Today, I had to spend at least 30 minutes, at 3 in the morning, shooting BBs at a mateless whip-poor-will to scare it off so I could sleep. It was making noise in a tree right outside my window. I feel for you my dude, but you're doing the equivalent of drunk texting an ex and crying into your beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 336

The Top

Today, I had to pull chunks of digested blanket out of my dog's ass because she refuses to listen to me when I tell her not to eat the damn blanket. I can't stop smelling it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 799

You deserved it 3 582

Today, I pulled up to a red light. My ex was in the next car, and my car's windows are so tinted that you can't see through them, so I flipped him off. I was driving my mom's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 876

You deserved it 30 697

Today, it's Saint Patrick's Day and the nicest day of the year so far. I'm spending it in the bathroom, puking up the sushi I'd eaten last night. The luck of the Irish can't help me on this one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 019

You deserved it 5 238

Today, I caught my idiot son with a pencil up his penis, because apparently he wanted to see if he could use it to write with as a party trick to impress girls. I demanded he take it out, which he did, but the rubber eraser stayed inside his penis. Now I’m spending my Sunday holding his hand in A&E. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 727

You deserved it 243

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to take our first shower together. When he came into the room, he had swimming trunks on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 313

You deserved it 5 638

Today, I was taking notes during a meeting, and politely asked the speaker to repeat a statement. She snapped, "My time has value. I do not repeat. If you don't respect me enough to pay attention, it's your problem." Everyone just stared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 135