Miscellaneous: Today, my roommates sat me down and said we need to have a serious...

By cookyourowndamndinner - 17/04/2017 06:00 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, my roommates sat me down and said we need to have a serious chat. I was worried, until they asked me if I could quit my new night job. When I asked why, they said it was because I wasn't home anymore to cook them dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 071

You deserved it 466

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/11/2013 01:03 - United States

Today, I told my roommates they have to go get jobs, because I can't afford to support them or their bad habits any more. They responded by pawning all my DVDs for cash to buy cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 695

You deserved it 7 114

By wallamanut - 14/12/2014 07:50 - United States - Portland

Today, my parents decided to finally kick me out of the house because they've gotten tired of seeing me "sleep around all day and being so lazy" whenever I'm home. I'm currently triple-shifting for 6 days a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 886

You deserved it 2 857

By Anonymous - 30/04/2019 16:00

Today, I had to quit my job. Why? Because I don't have a babysitter anymore. All I did was tell them I didn't want them mocking my baby when he cries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 123

You deserved it 335

By Michelle - 15/08/2011 08:15 - United States

Today, my parents heard me leaving my room at 2 am, and freaked out because they thought I was sneaking out. I was too embarrassed to tell them that I was getting food instead of having a social life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 208

You deserved it 23 203

By Anonymous - 06/08/2014 16:57 - United States - San Antonio

Today, my husband told his parents that he was quitting his job so that he could focus on school. They asked him what he was going to do for money. When I told them that I'd be the one working, they took one look at me and burst into laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 440

You deserved it 4 323

By Anonymous - 25/01/2017 04:00

Today, my roommates gathered together to tell me that they all took turns spitting in my drinks in the fridge, all because I told on them for smoking pot in the apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 266

You deserved it 3 370

The long goodbye

By yupimher - 12/10/2019 22:00

Today, I found out my job is trying to get me to quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 685

You deserved it 161

Stop talking now!

By Anonymous - 22/07/2009 22:05 - United States

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house for dinner. Her parents seemed upset, so I tried to lighten the mood by saying, "Hey, at least the weekend is coming up and you guys won't have to go to work." Apparently, they were upset because they both got laid off from their jobs today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 660

You deserved it 8 465

Let me stay!

By Anonymous - 17/11/2021 23:00

Today, I quit my job, mainly because I didn't work enough hours and thus, earn enough money. In the past, they said there isn't any other paid work they could provide. They've now added different tasks, more money, and more hours to the position. I'm helping to find a replacement for a job I would otherwise apply to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 167

Diddums

By Anonymous - 15/06/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, due to an emergency, I ended up working for 18 hours instead of 13. I'd texted my unemployed wife to let her know this was unavoidable, but when I got home she blamed me like she thought I planned this in advance, yelled at me, and my dinner was Heinz tomato soup I had to heat up myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 108

Uniquestar7 20

Sunday 16 April 2017 20:11

If they offer to pay you more than your new job does...

TedThePanda 5

Sunday 16 April 2017 20:41

tell them only if they pay to support all your needs and give you extra for your wants.

Comments

wickedgetz 30

Friday 14 April 2017 8:58

somebody has got to cook

Shaiggan Cheema 5

Sunday 16 April 2017 20:03

Use laxative next time, maybe they won't ask again! ??

Uniquestar7 20

Sunday 16 April 2017 20:11

If they offer to pay you more than your new job does...

hunterseal 18

Sunday 16 April 2017 20:14

lol tell them they gotta cook themselves, or by ramen and cereal.

TedThePanda 5

Sunday 16 April 2017 20:41

tell them only if they pay to support all your needs and give you extra for your wants.

DJRy 13

Sunday 16 April 2017 20:50

Nop.

iamme216 7

Sunday 16 April 2017 22:51

i honestly would be a little honored ha.

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Sunday 16 April 2017 23:11

Tell them to do their impression of an adult.

DanielleinDC 33

Monday 17 April 2017 3:55

Well, they can either pay you enough to live or they can learn to cook their own damn dinners.

RinoaHeartilly 36

Monday 17 April 2017 4:44

Tell them to **** off, grow up and learn how to cook their own food.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school that says, "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 746

You deserved it 3 568

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breathes on my neck. Just when I was about to finish, he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck and ear, and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 813

You deserved it 9 769

The Top

Today, the company I work for is now under new ownership. Somehow, this set off a series of events that resulted in the best boss I've ever had being effectively fired. I'm badly disabled, and she was the only thing stopping me from experiencing rampant ableism at work. I may be jobless again very soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 125

Today, I was playing some children's music while I cooked so my two-year-old was entertained a little. I started dancing while cooking and she looked at me with a straight face and said, "Mama... Don't dance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 978

You deserved it 668

Today, while talking with a coworker, we discussed a weekend home invasion scenario. It was then that I realized my social circle is so non-existent, that my job would notice I'm gone before my friends would. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 939

You deserved it 1 259

Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 155

You deserved it 4 810

Today, I was on the train and a woman approached me from behind and told me that if I didn’t stop staring at her, she’d kill me slowly and painfully, then she pulled out a switchblade to support her argument. I wasn’t looking at her at all and was in fact looking in the opposite direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 87

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's scared because her period is late, and that they're usually on time. Five hours late apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 54