By Utterly_Confused - 07/10/2015 22:07 - United States - Beaver

Today, my roommate confided in me that she hadn't been taking showers while at school because she was afraid of being in the shower when the fire alarm goes off. She goes home once every month, and will only shower there. I have to live with her for the rest of the year. FML
I agree, your life sucks 25 952
You deserved it 1 692

Same thing different taste

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Poor thing, I have similar anxiety about showering in bathrooms with no natural light, or that have extractor fans. When I lived in a flat with a bathroom like that for a year and a half I had to shower with the bathroom door open (luckily I lived alone :P). Maybe suggest she go to the campus health service and see if they have counsellors who could help her with that?

I understand that she's scared, but that's honestly disgusting.

Comments

Not sure what exactly she's anxious about, but maybe you could promise to wait outside the shower room for her and make sure she gets out safely if the alarm does go off? I hope she's not forgoing washing herself entirely, she could be using a sink and a washcloth.

Dorms house hundreds of people who have to exit and then gather outside. If you're in the shower you're not exactly in a condition to go stand among a group of people. She's worried about getting out in time and what she's going to do because she's wet and maybe got shampoo in her hair. And she's probably worried everyone will laugh at her.

Boo-frickity-hoo. Get laughed at for wearing nothing but a towel (if that), or get immolated beyond all recognition? I'll happily take the former.

33, I'm not at all saying she's being rational (anxiety typically isn't rational but that's a different point). 13 said "Not sure what exactly she's anxious about" so I told him what I thought was her reasoning. Yeah, I'd rather be in a towel as well.

I fully understand this. as someone who is constantly dealing with a few different types of anxieties, it can completely rule your life at some points. (I agree only showering once a month is both gross and unhygienic) op roommate needs to find a way she feels comfortable. How about a quick shower. don't wash your hair and have quick dress clothes. track pants and a singlet? its all about anxiety planning and strategy.

Thanks 27, didn't consider being out in public all damp being embarrassing! I was wondering whether she was anxious about not hearing the alarm while in the shower, or not being able to get out in time and being trapped by the fire, but having someone wait for her wouldn't be so reassuring if the problem is that she's worried she'll look silly or indecent.

Actually that happened to me once and then I fainted

I have OCD and this sounds a lot like it, actually. I'm almost positive that what she's experiencing is OCD. Please, please tell her to get it checked out. Nobody should live like that.

Maybe it's just me, but I think being clean outweighs the risk of being caught in the shower when the fire alarm goes off

She confided to you, OP. Why not tell your roommate that she can trust you, and that you will tell her if the alarm goes of. Since she told you, shes feeling bad about it.

snarkytruth 37

I am sure she is more miserable than those around her. As bad as it smells she has to endure how it feels. If she showers fine at home she is not gross by nature. Something has caused this to happen to her so have some empathy. Those calling her gross are seriously immature and uneducated about medical and psychological issues. Something terrible could have scarred her or a brain disorder. If the issue is nudity OP might suggest she keep a cute coverup like for swimsuits. Keep it on a hook right outside the shower or high in arms reach. Temp hooks can go anywhere and don't cause damage. If the issue is fear of not hearing the alarm OP can suggest she tell a friend or the RA when she showers to make sure she isn't left behind. Better yet have a counselor schedule a drill and show her she will still be able to hear it even with water running and an acceptable way to cope that she can be comfortable using. Who knows she may have a simple hearing problem with certain frequencies.

Le_ponderer 14

It sucks that smelly Melly is living with you. Place Febreze all over the and always have a spray can handy. After a while, it won't smell as bad in your room.

It happens actually quite a lot...so I now rent out a room at a nearby house so that is no longer an issue...maybe that will work for her

Whole situation stinks! Literally and figuratively. So sorry for OP and for the roommate..

Find her a long robe to throw on and go in case it happens. It's happened to me and that's what I did. It happens to a lot of people. Reassure her of that. And reassure her that if it does go off while she's in there, you'll come fetch her if you're in the dorm. She needs to have a game plan in case you aren't there. And lastly, reassure her that no one will laugh at her when you're gathered outside. I'm sure a dozen other people will be in the same situation.