Today, my recently ex-girlfriend's mother called me regarding her baby girl, saying, "If you mess with the chicklet, you mess with the momma hen." I have no idea what the hell this means for my future, but I'm a bit scared. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my boyfriend's mother still calls his ex-girlfriend her "future daughter-in-law". FML
Today, my mum met my amazing new girlfriend, but later said she'd probably cheat on me. She had correctly foreseen my ex would get pregnant against my will, take the child away, and sue for support, which I didn't believe back then. What should I do now? FML
Today, I was talking to my good friend's girlfriend. She mentioned being afraid of losing her job. Because she was still a teenager, I jokingly said, "Oh, like you're responsible for a whole family!" She is. FML
Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML
Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the, "I know I'm not your mother…" speech. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom still refers to his ex as 'the daughter she never had.' FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted get to know my mom, so they went off and had a chat. After an hour, I noticed my girlfriend was gone and my mom was waiting for me. Apparently I've been dumped through my mother. FML
Today, my mom came to me, hysterically crying that her boyfriend had hit and choked her. I’d feel bad for her except he’s my ex who also beat me, yet when I turned to my mother for help she decided to take him in instead and get pregnant with his kid. What goes around comes around bitch! FML
Today, I learned that if you complain to your mom about your future mother-in-law's bitchiness, your overprotective mom might confront her about it and end up punching her in the face. My fiancée blames me for the incident. FML
Today, I was picking up my daughter from my ex-husband's house and his new girlfriend was there. I said to my daughter that it was time to leave and she clung to his girlfriend and said, "Mommy, I don't want to leave." She wasn't talking to me. FML
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Top comments
faerieworld 1
Relax. It just means if you hurt the daughter her mother will gouge your eyes out with her sharp beak and talons.
phoenixslayer69 4
Run and hide!
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Comments (167)
JCTillery 8
afulks; it is spelt: psycho. Lol.
BretBanger 0
Ohmygod. I had a girlfriend like that. They were so creepy. They like accepted me into the family and her mom was like saying to other people right in front of me that I'm the one. Leave while you can! I left that girl. Her mom still loves my ass though(:
cmars3 7
Treat her daughter right and you won't have to find out.
jamwithme 0
She's gonna mess up up if you mess with her daughter
Chad_the_Brony 0
I wouldn't take her threat. I'd tell her to **** off. She sounds pathetic.
hpnotizin 0
It means exactly what she says... You mess with her daughter, and you mess with her... It's kinda obvious if you ask me, and if you didnt even understand what she meant, then maybe you deserve to get your ass beat
bizarre_ftw 22
Ask her if she comes roasted
Mourningstar 4
Thats what you get when you date a girl with a redneck for a mom. Rednecks are like psycos, great in bed but careful when its over. Like sleeping with a Praying Mantis, hit and run! Lol
ImNoUnicorn 3
You pussy
KiddNYC1O 22
At least you can't say you didn't see that coming.