Today, my obsession with replying "Your Mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I'd done with my pencil. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my dad had fun embarrassing me as much as possible in my parent-teacher conference by moaning whenever the teacher talked. FML
Today, I asked my science teacher if he'd had my mom when she went to my high school. He took one look at me, glared, and said, "Oh yeah, I remember HER." I have that class every day the rest of the year. Thanks a lot, Mom. FML
Today, I was taking a biology final and was just randomly tapping my pencil. My teacher thought I was somehow communicating with the person next to me, and decided to fail me. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
Today, I had to pick up my son from school because he was constantly talking about his "Giant pen." In mid-July, I got him a giant-sized pen (writing utensil) and he liked it very much. Apparently, one of the teachers had their mind in the gutter and thought he was talking about… you know what. FML
Today, as a natural science teacher, I was drawing a uterus on the class chalkboard. One of my students started messing around and being noisy, so I shouted, "Be quiet and check out my uterus!" FML
Today, my mom sat on a pencil and started bleeding. She then made me clean the wound on her butt and put ointment on it. FML
Today, my mom went snooping through my art bin to "clean out my old drawings". She found numerous nude pieces and accused me of selling porn. My mom mistook and threw out 57 anatomy practice sketches that I worked very very hard on, and ripped up the remainder of my drawings. FML
Today, I got a note from my son's kindergarten teacher. During free time yesterday, he told her, "Mommy was stripping". I was indeed stripping. Paint that is. FML
Today, I was pestering a co-worker, so she jokingly stated "I'll bury you!" and I replied "I'll bury your mom!". Her moms funeral was last week. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Lebeaugars95 20
guess who the teacher called after that comment
SpunkyyyMonkeyy 10
All you had to do was go to class with a pencil. I am sure McDonalds is hiring though.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (84)
ArmyDoc 11
I don't say this often, but you deserve it. Grow up Op.
Jakob2255 12
get a sense of humor navy reject lol
Walkerose 17
Unfortunate timing - but I find this funny. I don't stand for the 'grow up' or 'act your age' bit. People need to loosen up a bit and have some fun.
ArmyDoc 11
Except for there's a time for fun and a time to be respectful.
DeadPixel4 29
There's fun, and there's being totally immature...
frizz101 22
So what you're saying 32, that being immature is acceptable in court? So a lawyer can say "your mom" in a response to a question the judge asks? The above is a bit condescending, but the point remains that people have to grow up and act their age. People can act immature and have a good time, but there is a time an place for that.
flame5768 14
goddammit muscle man-_-
BootheGhost 6
Muscle Man says "My mom" OP had said "your mom." The latter is much more offensive then the former.
hamzor 5
Think before you speak OP, YDI.
tranced_ 45
not a good move!
Ziggy122 15
I'm guessing you're about 12 years old.
91hayek 31
Teacher: I meant pencil, not penis. However, as an anatomy teacher, I can tell that you could easily confuse yours with a pencil. Say your mom again and I'll turn this small observation into a full class lesson.
Marielle_T 10
Really...people still uses that comeback!? o.0
xXLotSoJelloXx 7
Hmmm now why did this seem like déjà vu...oh I know someone who does this..a lot
Tymaster5 22
No one says "your mom" joke anymore, grow up.
Nymeria_fml 25
Have they moved on to "your dad"? I didn't get the memo.
frizz101 22
No, the say "that's what she said" now.
Ziggy122 15
No, that's like, sooooo 2009. It's all about "swag" and "yolo" and "ratchet" now.