Today, my new boyfriend and I really wanted to have sex, but he went soft as soon as he entered me. This happens every time we try. I feel cursed by my year-long dry spell. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML
Wet noodle
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML
Mr Floppy
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
Quickie
Today, I finally had sex with my new boyfriend, well… penetration anyway. Turns out, he has premature ejaculation, and no idea how bad at sex he is. He actually thought he did a good job by lasting 20 seconds. He was done after 4 thrusts and was somehow confused. I didn't orgasm either. FML
Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML
Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML
Running gag
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex. Foreplay was amazing, but as soon as he started to get it in, he lost his erection because he was too nervous. He's a 30-year-old virgin and this has happened at least 10 times. FML
Sexy time
Today, after a month's-long dry spell, my wife and I finally had sex. It was awkward and terrible, neither of us finished, and she muttered, "I don't know why I missed that" after we gave up. FML
Spicy!
Today, my husband and I were about to have sex for the first time in months. We wanted to spice things up by using chocolate sauce during a blowjob, but the chocolate glued his foreskin to his penis and he cried. Safe to say the dry spell continues. FML
Deflated
Today, I realized that it's been well over a month since my boyfriend has even tried to have sex with me. The last time was our first time, and because he couldn't keep it up, he's too humiliated to accept any of my advances. FML
Top comments
VeganDarkLight 31
I know that feeling, was the same with my Ex. After a few weeks of trying, he finally told me he was still a virgin and scared of his first time (even though he really wanted to, I didn't pressure him or anything). A few nights later it suddenly worked =) Might be a similar problem with your bf, just don't pressure him or think it's your fault.
gracehi 33
Of course I do. You tie it tightly between two sticks, place it gently inside a ******, sit very still and wait patiently for five minutes, and then it releases magic tadpoles when the man pees out of it into the woman's belly. Then, nine months later, the baby comes out of the woman's belly button.
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Comments (113)
Saltypumpking 12
Probably he's just nervous because its the first time with you, it'll get better!
TDog3337 12
that sucks...I can see why that would be hard...
malikbahaa 21
Ummm no it's not hard .... That's the problem
atsignat 18
Maybe hi is gay and it's not even sure about it
MGS428 8
Try lots of foreplay or a position where you are controlling the act instead of him (or at least to start), he may not feel the pressure of having to perform well and it would be more seductive for him and he'll be in the mood in no time c:
feven 32
Maybe you're dehydrated. Drink more water.
Redoxx_fml 22
Maybe you're dehydrated cause that made no sense
feven 32
It's my advice for everything.
gracehi 33
You must be a Navy RDC.
Mauskau 36
"Help, my bladder exploded because I didn't go to the toilet in time!" - "drink more water" "but that's how I got into this mess!" - "drink more water."
devildog562 33
Chances are this is his problem and not yours, but then again, I guess him limp turns into both your problems.
Ohcrapitsbam 3
Start with the foreplay then it should get better from there
Louie_217 9
damn haha that sucks
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Maybe it's a medical problem and he should consult a doctor.
vikky538 29
start with oral..it never fails...
Fidel_ASStro 9
I second this!