Today, my neighbor scolded me for "allowing" her son to be bitten by one of my dogs. This would be reasonable, except for the fact that her kid had jumped my fence and tried to steal a rattle out of my daughter's hands. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I said no, she started crying so much that her mom came out 5 minutes later and demanded that I give her daughter the dog. FML
Today, I went to let my dog inside because she was barking. I saw my neighbour standing at my fence, screaming that she was going to kill my dog with a shovel for barking at her. My dog was only doing it because my neighbor was putting her trash in my garbage bin. This isn't a new thing. FML
Today, my neighbor yelled at me because her two kids got into my pool. They scaled a two-meter wall to get to my backyard. They used a tree in her yard that hangs over the wall. I guess I could install razor wire on top of the wall. FML
Straight to jail
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Today, I was screaming at my neighbor to shut his dog up. After 30 minutes of bellowing, he yelled back that it was my dog that was barking. He was right. FML
Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML
Woof woof
Today, I entered my neighbors’ yard around a shorter corner than usual. Their old dog is getting a bit slow, but unfortunately only in her head: By the time she recognized me as harmless, she had already run up and bitten me. FML
I'm always right
Today, my mom got mad at me. She told me that the neighbor was stupid for letting their kids play all over the street alone. I said it was fine, because the mom walked right next to the daughter as she played on her scooter. She argued, “Why do you always have to disagree with me?” FML
Countersuit
Today, as I was walking my dog, some self-righteous animal activist berated me on how it was animal abuse to put my dog on a leash. Despite warning her, she crouched down to undo it, my dog charged at her, giving her a gash on the cheek. She kicked my dog for it, and is now threatening to sue me. FML
I bet you're wondering how I ended up here
Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML
Top comments
bellles 18
Where do people's common sense go?
Khorlik 6
You should "let" your dog bite her.
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Comments (146)
weveallbeenthere 30
you obviously need higher fences, do not trespass signs and keep your dog locked in a cage. tell your neighbor to STFU
sunnyray812 42
Keep the dog locked in a cage??? That dog was clearly protecting OP's yard and daughter! What is wrong with you?!
meowimmakat 23
The dog doesn't need locked in a cage for protecting his family.
magickitten 26
What's wrong with you both? #11's sarcasm is beyond clear, cemented with advising to tell the neighbour to STFU.
iateapenguin 27
#26 - I don't know why they don't get it either :/
iann32 10
that kid needs to be lock in a cage lol
weveallbeenthere 30
you obviously don't recognize sarcasm #21 & 24
magickitten 26
And the other 32 down voters!
weveallbeenthere 30
#21 wants to be a creative writer. she must first become a better reader.
meghan7810 16
Sarcasm doesn't translate through text very well, the first time I read it I thought you were being serious. I've re-read it now and will un-unlike it.
sunnyray812 42
#90; Well, excuse me for not understanding #11's sarcastic tone in a typed comment. You would think it'd be harder to pick that out. *Shrug* Oh, and that insulting comment was not needed. Do you say awful things to everyone who makes a tiny mistake? #11; I apologize since I didn't know you were involving sarcasm. Ignore my above comment.
magickitten 26
Thing is, due to the last part of #11's comment, it translated very well into sarcasm....
JayBunny 16
No it didn't .-. You cant 'translate' sarcasm smh
magickitten 26
But then the second part of #11's comment totally contradicts the first part of the comment. Why would he say all those things and then suggest telling the neighbour to STFU? Personally I think the first two commenters didn't fully read #11's statement before making their comments. I may be wrong but that's what I immediately thought.
isuckwithnames 22
People who try to be sarcastic in text form without saying it's sarcasm, are idiots. Or are just having dumb moments, both ways work.
magickitten 26
Isn't it wonderful how I'm being told by others what I inferred from the original comment!? Basically, #11 I got you! I liked the irony in your response to the FML, it worked for me! And I agree, the neighbour should indeed STFU. OP's property and child were encroached upon by their neighbour, leaving that neighbour in no position to complain. And I also agree with you - as if they have to cage their dog or put up signs! That would be lunacy when OP did **** all wrong!
kittie77 10
People these days.. Smh. Ignorance. -_-
PenguinBitch 44
Did she also say "and I'll SUE you too!"
iSativa 24
You can't fix stupid. A no trespassing sign on your fence should keep any lawsuits from being successful. Just keep doing what you're doing.
cryssycakesx3 23
it's really sad that people even need to put up such signs on their own property. I get the lawsuit business, but shouldn't that just be a thing anyway? I mean either way "oh you were somewhere you weren't supposed to be on someone else's property" it's still trespassing without the sign. I guess I'm saying I don't get the lawsuit business.
sweetest_jenn 18
Tell her the only animal that needs to be on a tighter leash is her kid.
ihunter_rae 12
Please tell me how this FML deserves YDI votes ?
iateapenguin 27
People accidentally clicking YDI on their phones mostly. Then there's the 10 or so that were trolling :P
wizzbee 13
A familydog should never bite.
The_4th_Doctor 13
The dog was protecting its family. In a situation like this, while I wouldn't encourage the dog to bite, it would be understandable. In a situation where someone was trying to kidnap the daughter or hurt her, yes, I want a family dog to bite.
saralynnee132 10
People that steal from a little girl deserve to get bit. Let the dogs bite him more often, maybe even his mother
sunnyray812 42
Your dog had every right to attack the kid. It was only protecting your property and your daughter. I say that's a damn good dog to be looking out for your child.
little_one1 14
There is no reason OP should cage their dog. The dog did what it was supposed to do.
WhatsYOURname6 25
Parents that can't accept it when their child is wrong are incredibly annoying.
sunnyray812 42
They shouldn't even be parents.
ihunter_rae 12
Tells you something about themselves. They're probably that type of person that flips when anyone tells them they're wrong about anything. Most of the time they definitely know they're wrong, they just don't like being accountable for it. I'm sure everyone has some sort of issue with admitting they're wrong, no one likes being wrong. But then you have people that are plain out stupid like this woman getting mad about the dog.