Today, my neighbor scolded me for "allowing" her son to be bitten by one of my dogs. This would be reasonable, except for the fact that her kid had jumped my fence and tried to steal a rattle out of my daughter's hands. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I said no, she started crying so much that her mom came out 5 minutes later and demanded that I give her daughter the dog. FML
Today, I went to let my dog inside because she was barking. I saw my neighbour standing at my fence, screaming that she was going to kill my dog with a shovel for barking at her. My dog was only doing it because my neighbor was putting her trash in my garbage bin. This isn't a new thing. FML
Today, my neighbor yelled at me because her two kids got into my pool. They scaled a two-meter wall to get to my backyard. They used a tree in her yard that hangs over the wall. I guess I could install razor wire on top of the wall. FML
Straight to jail
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Today, I was screaming at my neighbor to shut his dog up. After 30 minutes of bellowing, he yelled back that it was my dog that was barking. He was right. FML
Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML
Woof woof
Today, I entered my neighbors’ yard around a shorter corner than usual. Their old dog is getting a bit slow, but unfortunately only in her head: By the time she recognized me as harmless, she had already run up and bitten me. FML
I'm always right
Today, my mom got mad at me. She told me that the neighbor was stupid for letting their kids play all over the street alone. I said it was fine, because the mom walked right next to the daughter as she played on her scooter. She argued, “Why do you always have to disagree with me?” FML
Countersuit
Today, as I was walking my dog, some self-righteous animal activist berated me on how it was animal abuse to put my dog on a leash. Despite warning her, she crouched down to undo it, my dog charged at her, giving her a gash on the cheek. She kicked my dog for it, and is now threatening to sue me. FML
I bet you're wondering how I ended up here
Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML
Top comments
bellles 18
Where do people's common sense go?
Khorlik 6
You should "let" your dog bite her.
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Comments (146)
isuckwithnames 22
Be happy that you have a fence, because in some areas if you don't have a fence set up and the same thing happens, you could lose. It is kinda stupid but that's the law, in some places. But that little **** deserved it.
demon_wolf 15
Welcome to America. A magical place where common sense is nearly extinct.
midnighteyes14 11
Arrogance clearly comes from ignorance in this case
ExastirisDragon 22
I hate it when people blame the dog but won't think "hey, maybe the person got bit because they were trespassing or trying to steal. Nah, better blame the dog. "
Bookoholic 11
You should have told her that you have a fence up for a reason but that didn't stop her little shit from trespassing and stealing a rattle from another child. Where were they in all this? What didn't surprise me in this FML is that your dog has more parental instinct of a child then that douchebag you call a neighbor.
EpicGuy70 13
The little bastard deserved it. Those dogs were protecting your young child from those asshole neighbors
fantasyworld 39
Why don't some parents like to discipline their kids? It's not like grounding them will scar them for life.
av8r5 5
I'd tell that ***** haha
1HotMomma 6
That's what I'd expect any loyal dog to do in that situation. assess the threat and protect the family.
Naomi_Reisch 6
I hope you told her to **** of because her some climbed over YOUR fence