Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I said no, she started crying so much that her mom came out 5 minutes later and demanded that I give her daughter the dog. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my neighbor scolded me for "allowing" her son to be bitten by one of my dogs. This would be reasonable, except for the fact that her kid had jumped my fence and tried to steal a rattle out of my daughter's hands. FML
Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML
Today, after finally giving up on the search for my lost dog, I realized that my neighbors had found her and are convinced that she was a stray. They won't give her up and are now mad at me for trying to take my own dog back. FML
Today, I'm so strapped for cash, I had to send my daughter to play with my neighbor's daughter, both are 5, because she gets fed there. She suddenly came home saying they're not friends anymore, bragging how she hit her and she bled while crying. Why? She bought 2 new toys and gave her one, so they have the same. FML
Today, my manager made me stay at work for an extra four hours, making me miss an urgent specialist appointment I'd scheduled months ago. Why? Because her neighbor's dog was having puppies, and she wanted to go home early and see them. FML
Today, at the mall, I ran into a lost, crying little girl. It was my best friend's daughter. She recognized and clung on to me. As I called her dad, some nosy lady snatched her from me and caused a scene, screaming, "KIDNAPPER!" As I got apprehended, her claim was she heard me say, "If you still want to see her…" FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He became friendly with another dog, and I reached down to pet them both. Suddenly, an old woman ran up to me and whacked me with her cane repeatedly. Apparently, her previous dog had been kidnapped by a woman who looked a lot like me. FML
Today, I was out walking my dog, when a lady called out to me asking, “Is that a boy or a girl?” Assuming she meant the dog, I told her that he was a boy. When I turned away, I heard her say to her kid, “I was talking about the person walking the dog, but whatever,” then audibly laughing. FML
Today, I went to let my dog inside because she was barking. I saw my neighbour standing at my fence, screaming that she was going to kill my dog with a shovel for barking at her. My dog was only doing it because my neighbor was putting her trash in my garbage bin. This isn't a new thing. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML
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Top comments
james_logan 19
Demand that she give you her daughter to show her how irrational she is
Monday_funday 25
Wow. That is just some stand up parenting being done by your neighbour....
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Comments (161)
da_epic_failman 7
Did you do it?
fantasyworld 39
Keep a close eye on your dog.
imacatt 12
Hey guys op here and 1st I still have my dog and the kid actually got a golden retriever the next week. 2nd is that her mom literally buys her anything she want since she's a only child.
TheYorkieOfDoom 8
What a poor dog. It doesn't deserve that kid
Snoutsoup 7
What a bitch
lb1992 5
You should've said: "Why does she need another dog, you're already a bitch!" Explanation: (Pun being that bitch is also a female dog)
lidlesspocklejar 3
time to put dog poop in several bags and throw them at her car (:
anonymouskatliz 7
As a kid I used my birthday money to buy one of those FurReal dogs that you can walk. I was walking it up the street and the neighbour girl asked to try it. I didn't want her to wreck it so I said no. Her mom got mad at me and I hid in my closet and cried.
lonelyny1945 8
But Daddy, I want an Oompaloompa NOW!!!
jc1015 25
I wouldn't have given them the dog either...I would've given them a couple birds though 🖕🖕