Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, I found my mom throwing my very expensive and important medication down the toilet. She thought I was doing drugs. FML
Today, my mom called me a druggie after she found out I smoked weed once. She's now threatening to sell my car, tell my boss, and ban me from seeing my fiancée. I'm 24. FML
Today, my mom and step-dad tore my room apart looking for the stash of drugs they thought I had. I've never touched drugs in my life, and I guess they believe me now. Didn't stop them from making me clean up the mess they made, though. FML
Today, I came home to find my room completely torn apart. My mom and dad start yelling at me asking me why I am doing drugs because she found a tiny baggie on the floor. It was the little bag that spare buttons come in when you buy a dress shirt. FML
Today, I came from a 12-hour shift to find my clothes and stuff outside, and the locks changed. I called my mom to let me in and she told me, “Hell the fuck no, I’m not having a drug addicted junkie up in my house! You’re no longer my daughter!” and hung up. Apparently, she found my stash of weed. FML
Today, my mother has taken her drug paranoia to a new level. She threw away an open but nearly full bag of dried mint because she's sure I emptied and refilled the bag with marijuana to hide it from her. She then tried to ground me in my own house in front of my wife and daughter. FML
Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MikaykayUnicorn 36
FYI for your crazy mother AND your oily skin OP.
ComoEsJuan 24
Hash oil, face oil, it's all the same.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (53)
Richard6036 13
1) personal space should have been an issue. 2) how does your mother know what rolling papers are. 3) did she apologize when she found out what they were. 4) did you somehow loose trust for something similar in the past is that why she feels it's OK to violate your privacy .
loubabe69 19
Wow. For your mom to go through your bag is a huge invasion of privacy, she should have been yelled at and bitched out.
the_real_dvd 21
I'm a successful businessman with 18 employees and several millions in billing each year. I own properties, have brand new cars, and own a large house with a pool and a hot tub overlooking the sunset coast in Hawaii. And I smoke pot. I don't see why people get their panties in a wad over a little weed. It's no different than enjoying a nice scotch at night.
writerchic85 26
Plot twist: all of those things are a delusion of your drugged out mind.
dabaerju 23
In short, "I'm successful and I smoke pot." Thank you and good night.
dman798 18
She needs to get educated
Rainyknights22 16
People should really think before they speak.
Hildy93 21
Or were they?
worldclassrager 41
Papers either way...still come on that's a bit extreme
mastersmithson 13
it all starts with blotting papers...
drc2010 13
Just because you smoke pot doesn't make you stupid or no future. There are several famous and wealthy people in this world that smoke pot and it doesn't make them dumb, just relaxed, helps cure cancer and stay cancer free. Your mom is the stupid one. She needs to read about that before she goes around saying ignorant things.
Mr_Swazi 11
I suggest killing your mother