Today, my mother is so overdramatic that her response to finding out I lost a friend's book was that I should fake my own death rather than fess up. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I told my mother I was doing fine with my classes when I actually wasn't because her mother is dying, and I didn't want her to have more things to stress about. She found out and she's very hurt. I feel awful about it and I know lying wasn't the right thing to do, but in the moment I didn't want to cause her any more pain. FML
Today, my mom told me that if I wanted to commit suicide, I should make it seem like a car accident, and not do it in the house, because she would be too embarrassed if people thought she was a bad parent. FML
Today, things got so bad with my mother-in-law that I seriously considered faking my entire family's deaths to escape it all. FML
Today, I spent two hours researching ways to fake my death, just so I can escape my crazy, overbearing stalker of a mum. FML
Today, I had to make up a story about my "friends" at school so my mom doesn't keep telling I'm a loser. FML
Today, my mother is upset that I won’t share things with her anymore. This is the woman who spent my entire childhood gossiping about every teeny tiny detail of my life, and used my suicide attempt as a way to garner pity for herself. Yeah, no thanks. FML
Today, my 55 year-old mother faked a pregnancy because she was jealous of all the attention I've been getting since I had my twin boys. FML
Today, I told my mom I was going out to hang out with some friends. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Don't lie to me." FML
Today, I actually thought of faking my own death to get away from my girlfriend and her insane, overbearing family. FML
Today, my mom confessed that she has to make up compliments to give to prove me wrong when I said she can never say positive things about me. FML
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Top comments
DestinyNiya 33
Aww, just buy your friend a new book.
xlord 27
Don't ever tell her if you lose your car/house keys!!
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Comments (53)
keifman7 17
Well that's a great mom
ShitHappen_fml 15
MOTHERS!
sayyestothedress 24
Take her to a mental hospital
5secondsofvvifi 21
Um... I'm pretty sure that just because she said that, doesn't mean she should take her to a mental hospital. Maybe it's a weird thing they do in their family, maybe her mother was being sarcastic. You can't just answer things with that, especially if you don't know the whole story, and you can't use it for excuses. "She failed her math test." "Take her to a mental hospital" That's a bit outrageous.
sayyestothedress 24
#44 it was just a joke, ca down and clearly you don't know sarcasm
gracehi 33
Geez, is your friend Hannibal Lecter, or something?
worldclassrager 41
That's drastic...was the book a death of a salesman?
baileybean654 11
Very "Much Adu About Nothing" of her. She must be a Shakespeare fan
5secondsofvvifi 21
Ah mother knows best! I suggest getting a mannequin for the funeral, and going to maybe Antarctica? It's too late to get out of this mess now, unless of course you buy her a new book. That would require lots of money and effort.
CoGhostRider 31
That would make a good book though.
sydneysays 15
Aw dang that's getting bad
Attacksloth 33
Do that to one of my books, and you would have to fake your own death. Then again, I don't lend out my books. Your mom sounds hilarious, but FML because it's unnecessary drama that just sounds annoying.