Today, my mom and dad played rock, paper, scissors over who gets to spend the night with me in the hospital tonight while I have surgery. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML
Today, my parents had a loud argument over who is worse in bed. FML
Today, I'm on bed rest after a major surgery. I can walk to the bathroom but can barely raise my hands. At the hospital, my mom gave this dramatic speech of being there whenever I needed her. When I asked her to come make me breakfast, she didn’t show up til noon then complained I was in a bad mood. FML
Today, I had surgery on my arm. My mom has recently had the same surgery, and my dad is having his first rib removed and won't be able to move his arm. My family combined now has three functioning arms. FML
Today, I woke up to my mother telling me to sit up and get dressed because we had to go before it was too late. I had just woken up from surgery. She didn't want to be stuck in traffic. FML
Today, I'm going to visit my mother in hospital. She broke her hip and my father refused to take her to hospital for 6 days, insisting she would get better. My dog had cancer surgery, which will cost me a whole month's salary. I’m still recovering from 2 major surgeries myself, and my kids are being total dorks. FML
Today, I found out my mom has been telling my entire family I need surgery on my "Labia" instead of my "Labrum". I went from needing shoulder surgery to needing vagina surgery with one group text. Thanks, mom. FML
Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML
Today, my boyfriend's bitch of a mother had surgery and now I'm expected to be her at-home nurse. I haven't been able to sit down for more than 5 minutes thanks to her and I've barely slept. FML
Today, I had 3 teeth pulled. Due to the anaesthesia, my mom came along to drive me home. Halfway through my surgery, she decided to leave and go shopping with her friend. She even left a note with the receptionist, saying that I needed to take on my own adult responsibilities. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DocBastard 40
Loser has to stay or winner gets to stay? Big difference.
vikky538 29
parents these days... sorrt OP.. hope the surgery goes well..
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (98)
Caelophile 8
Well, rock, paper, scissors is fairly casual. If it had been like a duel at dawn, I might be a little more offended.
christianpulis 17
Who won?
mattrd_fml 31
Well it depends. did they want to go and we're trying to win? or were they hoping to lose so they could stay home?
martin8337 36
They didn't throw in lizard spock?
maharb01 17
sorry to be insensitive, but you should be happy that one of them will be there. is the other going to "keep the household running"? this could have very easily been a fml where they farmed it out to somebody else or both refused
AlgarinJailene 7
I swear I read this a few days ago lol
JKPwnage 27
At least they want to be there for you!
RedPillSucks 33
At least one of them stayed. They could have both said "screw it" Count your blessings
ughcomedy 2
What if they wanted to win so whoever wins gets to stay and be happy :D
ToastedSyrup 16
It's most likely winner stays due to the fact it's "who gets to" as apposed to "who has to", and is worded so that it is still a fml